Thursday, July 22, 2010

Unplanned Uncertainty

We've got some craziness going on over here people; an interruption in scheduling, if you will, so this is not the planned post.  Allow me to explain.

Saturday was an extremely sad day for me.  In a bizarre twist of fate, just before bed at 2am on Saturday, I googled an old bestie's mom's name to make sure the telephone number I had for her in my mind was still valid after 10 years because I planned to call her and catch up later in the day.  Imagine my shock when it was her obituary that greeted me instead.  

I can't even begin to describe how stunned I was staring at that computer screen.  My heart crashed to my stomach while memories of my friend's very young mom laughing and talking with us flooded my mind.  There were flashes of feelings, vivid close-ups of my friend, her mom, their cat hiding in a grocery bag (?), and pain.  Wave upon wave of emotion swept over me within seconds and I burst into tears.  (haven't really stopped)

It's fascinating to me how these two people from my past have been on my mind constantly for 6 months, and I chose to look her up on the very day of her memorial.  What are the odds?  This is an experience I will never, ever, forget.  A gnawing reminder to slow down and listen to the inner voice.  I am filled to the brim with regret.

image via notebookdoodles

I don't want to go into any more detail than this, which I trust you understand.  My friend and I have spoken at length and the entire thing is devastating, which goes without saying.  More than anything I really wanted to share the circumstances around the discovery because they were so "coincidental" - yet in hindsight so absolutely guided.  On that note, I'm going to swallow one lump in my throat and dart off to another.

The Chef's mom had some chest pains on the tennis court yesterday so went to visit her doctor today.  Ended up having an angioplasty and, in an absolute scary and shocking turn of events, is having a quadruple bypass in the morning (today, Thursday).  Everything is happening very fast, so I'm going to bed to get some rest.  I tend to pass time by anxiously shopping online to distract myself, so don't be offended if I post some find or fifty tomorrow during the day. 

Normally I would not go into so much personal detail, but for some reason felt compelled to share this with all of you.

Jesus take the wheel - literally.

68 comments:

Café Bellini said...

Oh no that is so sad. Yes, what are the odds? Life is so strange sometimes. I'm really sorry to hear about your friend's mother and I sincerely hope all goes well with your Chef's mother. That sounds like a huge and complicated operation so you must all be so worried. Lots of hugs and thank you for sharing your story about your car and for the offer, too... you really made me smile.

Fashion, Art and other fancies said...

How sad you must be today. At least the Chef's mama went immediately to the Doctor, some people would have waited and waited for the pain to subside or disappear.

So she did the right thing. I hope she has a good and competent surgeon and good luck with the operation for her, and the recovery. So sorry to hear re. your friend's mama.

Krystal said...

Ohh Carrie, my heart is totally going out to you in a big way. Tragedies like this scare, shock and send me into tailspins so I feel for you. Don't be hard on yourself, just don't, though - it's not fair to you. I wish I could give you a gigantic hug and take you on a girl date! Keep your head up.
(you're one of my faves too!)

ChinkyGirLMeL said...

What a shocker. I literally had goosebumps reading this post about who it had been so coincidental that you searched for her on the day of her memorial. I am sorry for your loss. I have learned something from your post. Next time I think of someone I will go ahead and keep in touch with them, maybe by a simple text saying hello or whatnots...thanks for that reminder.

LouBoo said...

Oh Carrie I am so so sorry. I can't imagine the shock you must have felt and of course so poignant. There are always a set of circumstances surrounding when we learn of anyone's passing away, but this is extreme. No wonder you are feeling so confused and emotional. Sometimes life deals something that just sidelines us...out the blue. Online shopping might help...time definitely will. Take care... Lou x

Beauty H2T said...

Oh Darling, I am so sorry. You must have been so shocked and sad and I wish I could say something to help. But know I am thinking of you and sending you much love. I hope all goes well today,

Bx

Katie said...

Oh goodness Carrie - I'm so very sorry for everything that's going on. Please take care of yourself and know you're in my thoughts!

kirstyb said...

sorry for your loss and chin up x

Jess said...

Goodness me that is scary and sad all at the same time. Really reminds you that life is too short.

Young at Heart said...

how very sad, the phrase 'at least I've got my health' is not such a joke these days.....

SabinePsynopsis said...

So many shocking and saddening news... Hope the OP goes well and wishing you strength and courage to get through this. xo

Ms Sublime said...

So sorry darling, what a shock. Sending you lots of love from London xxx

She Wore It Well said...

In a cruel twist of fake, tomorrow we have a meeting with family, FIL & doc about his urgent surgery for a cancer :(

Life!!!

Abby said...

I'm so very very sorry. *hugs* It seems so cruel.

Allison said...

Rough week Carrie; praying for you girlie! I guess there is one person who is not shocked by any of it, which is comforting to know that He has it in His control..... a few things have just come to mind:
John 14:1 "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me."
Isaiah 40:11 He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart
"1God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
2Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, 3though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging. Selah." (Psalm 46:1-3)
Love ya girlie, and trust everything will be okay today!

alli/hooray said...

I'll be thinking about you, Carrie. So sorry to hear about everything and sending prayers for the Chef's mom.

hélène said...

It's really crazy how life works sometimes... it just shows that trusting our instinct is usually the thing to do. I had a similar experience last summer.. eerie!

I hope your friend is ok :) Thanks for your comment!

xxx

Debby said...

Carrie, I will say a prayer for Chef's Mom, it sounds like she is in good hands, good thing she went in right away.

I do believe that inner voice does tell us things. Sorry you had to find out about your friend's Mom the way that you did.

Sorry things are rough for you right now. xo

Fashion Meets Food said...

Wow Carrie! Death and I are not friends... when i was 16 my bff and her mom were killed by a drunk and high driver. That was the first funeral I ever attended and one of the hardest things in my life. I couldn't even imagine randomly deciding to look up someone from the past on the day of the memorial. It's insane how things happen.

I will be praying for Chef's mom. I hope everything turns out okay! You're in my thoughts and prayers.

xo

Susan said...

Sending you a huge virtual hug...

Susan

Cool Gal said...

Wow...that is a lot at one time! I completely understand the need to shop compulsively to detract yourself and relieve stress. Everyone has their "thing."

I am so sorry to hear about your friend. I can't even begin to wrap my arms around the shock. Don't beat yourself up. Your intentions to reach out to her were good. It's just very unfortunate. Bad luck, so to speak.

Hope everything goes well with the Chef's mom. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Wishing you brighter days ahead.

Closet Fashionista said...

That is so sad :( and such a weird coincidence... :/
Yea...haha...I wish I could get the deals XD I did get the guy selling the first Burberry jacket to lower the price a LOT but it might be too big for me and I shouldn't buy it anyway
http://aclosetfashionista.blogspot.com>

Jess said...

Oh, Carrie, I am so sorry. This post brought a tear to my eye. Hope you are feeling better soon!

xo

and flowers pick themselves said...

wow. how devastating. i'll be thinking about you :)

xo Alison

Lisa - respect the shoes said...

I'm so sorry and my thoughts are with you and your friend.

Instances like this remind us all how precious life is and we should always remind the people we care about that we are thinking of them.

nadia said...

Thinking of you and your loved ones. Please take care.

xo Nadia

Annie said...

Carrie, I'm so sorry to hear about all of this... thank you for sharing though because it's SUCH an important reminder to us all to slow down and really listen to those inner voices/nudges.
I'm praying for you, your friend, and chef's mom.. Really hope you're doing ok today.
Lots of Love,
Annie

Ms. Emily Ann said...

Sending love and prayers to you, the Chef, and his mother, as well as your friend and her family, sometimes it is so diffulct to make any sense out of life, but stopping to appreciate the people we love is something many of us take for granted. Thanks for reminding me to do so today.

Jamie Lee said...

That is hard! It is amazing what our intuition tells us, though.
I'm the one with the same header! :]
Great minds think alike.
-Jamie

Cafe Fashionista said...

I'm so, so sorry to hear about this; what a tragic weekend you've had. It seems sadness is in abundance lately - my one-eyed cat Morgan passed away this past Sunday, and I'm still in shock. :(

Personally, I don't think it's a question of "What are the odds?" I think that you have psychic tendencies, as your dreams that oftentimes come true is indicative of. I know it sounds weird; but it's the truth. :)

Tamanna A. Shaikh said...

First of all, I'm sorry to hear this. I can understadn how you must feel. It seriously looks like the gods are on a break because not-so-good things are happening with me too. Jesus take the wheel, literally, I agree. Feel better honey.

Cashmere 'n Cotton said...

Oh how terribly sad that is. I'm so sorry to hear that something like this has happened. Something in the back of your mind was gnawing at you and I'll let this be a lesson to me. I get those feelings all of the time and usually don't act on them. I will now. Thanks.

Anna Walker said...

Oh my gosh, I am so sorry that you found out about your friends mom that way! LIfe is awful sometimes, you will learn to listen to your inner voice now, and while this was an awful way to learn it, you have learned it now.

Now to your Mother-in-Law, I am praying that her surgery goes well and everything works out. It may sound weird to say this, but I feel like it was good they caught everything now, and she can figure out how to live her life more healthily and have more time to spend with all of you!

I hope you feel better, and that everything works out. Because as my friend told me "Everything Happens For a Reason" and that people are a lot stronger than we may believe they are. Just remember so many people care and take solace in that.

xoxoxoxoxo

MerciBlahBlah said...

Sorry to hear about your friend's mom, and hope things go well with Chef's mom. It's weird - my best friend when I was growing up lived 3 doors down, and I loved going to her house because I LOVED her mom - she was so funny. I almost liked going to hang out with her as much as my friend. When we grew up we grew apart as friends do, but I always held a fond place in my heart for her mother. About 15 years ago her mom died after a long battle with breast cancer, and to this day, every now and then, I dream about her mom, and always feel so peaceful the next day - it's like she's just stopping by to say hello or something. I don't know why I felt compelled to share that with you, but my thoughts are with you. Hang in there!
Hugs,
Shannan

Mary Ann said...

Hi Carrie! life is precious and short. hope you are taking all these well. you will be in my prayers. hope everything will go well with the surgery....verbena cottage

Lacey in the City said...

Wow, the irony is insane, I am so sorry for the loss of your friend's mother. I will have the Chef's mom in my thoughts as well, and I am hoping that everything goes well today.

Thanks for your great comment yesterday - I am very happy to be following each other in this crazy thing we call life :)

xoxo
lacey

Alicia said...

Sending you lots of positive thoughts and prayers during this time!!!

Nikki said...

Carrie, I am so sorry.

Thank you for sharing with all of us and I hope you know that you have a strong support system here.

XX
Nikki

Valerie said...

Carrie, my heart reaches out to you. I'm so sorry about your friend's mom. How awful and tragic and what a sign it was that you've been thinking of them. It's so hard to lose anyone, but especially the people we knew when we were young. We build bonds with them that carry us through our adult life. My thoughts are with you, the Chef and his mom today as well. Take care of yourself during this difficult time. Sending you lots of love and hope!

xo
Valerie

Josie said...

Carrie, my love, my favorite. I am so sorry about all of the tragedy surrounding you right now. I am so very sorry about your friend's mother. I'm sure that knowing you were thinking about them means so much to your friend. And I wish that there was something that I could do for you. Furthermore, my heart aches for you and the Chef, and of course his mother. Please take care of yourself and, as always, we're here.
Many, many Xs and Os,
Josie

Connie @ SogniESorrisi said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you. xo

Jammer said...

Oh no Carrie! I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's mom. That is so sad :(. I also wishing the best for the chef's mom! Stay strong and take care!

this free bird said...

*Update* - Thanks so much everyone. She's in surgery and, I think, 4 more hours to go.

xoxoxo,
Carrie

Will keep you updated. Your heartfelt words mean so very much. *hugs and hugs*

Heather {A Measure Of...} said...

Dear Carrie, So brave of you to share this. And probably such a good/needed thing to share.

That you called on the day of the memorial shows just how attuned you are. It is so important to listen to those little voices inside of us. And I'm thankful to be reminded.

Sending all good vibes and energy your way for you and the chef's mom.

love and light.

La Boheme said...

Sending you much love Carrie and many wishes to Chef's mom. I hope all turns out well. xoxo

Fé... said...

My deepest condolences for the grieving family. And my hugs for you, dear... Hope you would be doing fine soon :)

Bren said...

Omg Carrie! How heartbreaking! Sending love and prayers to your friend who has just lost her mother, and also praying for Chef's mom to have a smooth surgery, with speedy recovery! You're in my thoughts as well. <3

xoxo,
Bren @ Chasing Beauty

Roxy Te Owens said...

Sometimes life comes all at once. Hope things are looking up. And if they aren't yet, they will :)

PhotoPuddle said...

Gosh, what an emotional few days. Sending you the hugs that you need.

Indie.Tea said...

O that is so sad. And it reminds us to appreciate everyone, everyday, 'cause you never know....

Kiki said...

Thats so horrible - its so ssad to hear. You knopw sometimes things just happen and then you're like, what's going on here - just too much!!

XOXO
kiki

Julie (brown eyed belle) said...

Carrie, my sweet lady, I am here for you. I hate this for you, it's so tough. It seems like lots of people are dealing with heavy things right now, and it's no fun.

Stay strong, lady. I'm sending you the biggest hug ever!

xoxo

Style, She Wrote said...

Wow, what a story. I am sorry for your loss but happy this coincidence helped you learned the truth and -- hopefully -- is helping your friend heal. All the best, xo style, she wrote

Anna Jane said...

hang in there, carrie. my thoughts/prayers are with you and your loved ones. mucho love.

xx,
anna jane

Marcie said...

Oh, Carrie! I am so sorry for all these events. This must be a very hard time. I will say a prayer for your and your loved ones. I am a firm believer in fate, and that is why you looked up your friend on the day of her memorial.

xoxo Marcie

Daniela said...

keep strong, cry as much as you need to, and know that everything happens for a reason! Live as much as possible - no regrets!!!

Rachel said...

im so sorry what a sad turn of events. new to your blog (thanks for the invite) and sending positive & hopeful vibes your way.

in light of what has happened i feel so silly coming over here to check out your lovely giveaway, but i'm glad to have found your blog.
totally makes sense that you would want to share this, sharing things can be so cathartic. especially when you can write it all out & get it off your chest.
anyway so nice to meet you & i look forward to reading more of your blog.
Rachel
www.littlegirlshinyworld.com
or actually where you found me @
www.feastsb.blogspot.com

MarchMusings said...

Really true-what are the odds? Life can be funny like that. Thanks for sharing this with all of us.

Savvy Gal said...

It is sad indeed!

kendall k. said...

My deepest condolences. Thank you for sharing :)

Poppies and Sunshine said...

I am so sorry for your sadness. I hope you are feeling better today.

And I hope the surgery goes well too and that your mother-in-law is doing well.

Many hugs to you.

Turquoise and Lily said...

thanks for your comment dear.. :) i really appreciate it.. have a nice day

laurenne said...

Aw... hugs! Isn't it crazy how we're all connected somehow? Maybe in some subconscious way they were saying goodbye?

Helena from BrooklynBlonde said...

I'm so sorry!!!! Sending (((hugs))) your way!

Jessica said...

Oh sweetheart, I took a blog break yesterday and only now read it. I'm so, so sorry.

Big hugs to you, Carrie.

Me, Only Better said...

((hugs))
What a lot of stress and loss and sadness.

Krista said...

Holy hell girlie, I'm so sorry!! I've been out of touch the past few days and I'm just reading this! Big clink-o-the-wine-glass to you!

WE SPY WITH MY LITTLE i said...

Yikes.... The world works in mysterious ways. Chin up matey.

Yours Truly

WE SPY WITH MY LITTLE i

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