Saturday was an extremely sad day for me. In a bizarre twist of fate, just before bed at 2am on Saturday, I googled an old bestie's mom's name to make sure the telephone number I had for her in my mind was still valid after 10 years because I planned to call her and catch up later in the day. Imagine my shock when it was her obituary that greeted me instead.
I can't even begin to describe how stunned I was staring at that computer screen. My heart crashed to my stomach while memories of my friend's very young mom laughing and talking with us flooded my mind. There were flashes of feelings, vivid close-ups of my friend, her mom, their cat hiding in a grocery bag (?), and pain. Wave upon wave of emotion swept over me within seconds and I burst into tears. (haven't really stopped)
It's fascinating to me how these two people from my past have been on my mind constantly for 6 months, and I chose to look her up on the very day of her memorial. What are the odds? This is an experience I will never, ever, forget. A gnawing reminder to slow down and listen to the inner voice. I am filled to the brim with regret.
|image via notebookdoodles|
I don't want to go into any more detail than this, which I trust you understand. My friend and I have spoken at length and the entire thing is devastating, which goes without saying. More than anything I really wanted to share the circumstances around the discovery because they were so "coincidental" - yet in hindsight so absolutely guided. On that note, I'm going to swallow one lump in my throat and dart off to another.
The Chef's mom had some chest pains on the tennis court yesterday so went to visit her doctor today. Ended up having an angioplasty and, in an absolute scary and shocking turn of events, is having a quadruple bypass in the morning (today, Thursday). Everything is happening very fast, so I'm going to bed to get some rest. I tend to pass time by anxiously shopping online to distract myself, so don't be offended if I post some find or fifty tomorrow during the day.
Normally I would not go into so much personal detail, but for some reason felt compelled to share this with all of you.
Jesus take the wheel - literally.