Friday, July 23, 2010

Aggravated Mayhem

Did you know there is a section in the California Penal Code for Mayhem?  I had never heard of such a thing until a couple weeks ago at the couples shower when one of our other friends mentioned that he worked with a woman who had been convicted of aggravated mayhem.  I asked what it was, but can only recall something about one woman biting another woman's ear off or something.  I swear I am not making this up.  Anyway.  The reason I can't really remember is because I was secretly captivated by the expression "aggravated mayhem" and only half heard the rest.  In fact I turned to the Chef and whispered "I'm secretly in love with this aggravated mayhem."  He shook his head and was like "I know you are.  I saw your eyes light up as soon as he said it."  Woops!

Basically it's been living in my mind.  Sometimes I just blurt it out for fun.  "Now there's some aggravated mayhem." Catchy, isn't it?

This week can be best summarized, ironically, as aggravated mayhem.  Maybe I should have seen it coming.  First my friend's mom, then the whacked out sun burn after being doused in SPF 85, and now the Chef's mom.  In the middle of all this I literally witnessed and got caught in the crossfire of some aggravated mayhem of my own that resulted in this nonsense:


I mean can you even tell what color that is?  That would be a no.  I got these things repainted a day and a half ago (not that you could tell with the nice chip job that's already occurring) amidst the biggest nail battle royale of all time.

There I was on Tuesday evening with my nails all chipped up after just having had them done on Saturday afternoon.  Unacceptable.  So I roll back into the salon to get them repainted.  Can you say deep freeze?  Now I may not understand Korean, but I do understand body language and non-verbal cues.  Picture it:  in I stroll to my usual place.  I sit down because there are 2 customers and 3 nail ladies working on them so I have to wait.  I pick up a trash magazine and begin reading.  One customer leaves.  The free nail lady says come over.  I get up to walk over.  Mid-stride one of the others YELLS at her in Korean.  And I mean yells.

Now I'm head down trying to act like everything is normal.  I sit down.  The one who got yelled at raises her voice a little back to the yeller.  As I'm sitting there all hell, I mean aggravated mayhem, breaks loose....They all start full-on screaming at each other in Korean.  The other customer is done.  She scurries out.  I'm caught in the crossfire.  Is this a Seinfeld skit?  One hand's polish is removed and the other hand still tore up.  They're all yelling at each other.  It's like cats in a bag.  They run the other lady off!!  The remaining two start clearly talking about her right in front of me - you could just TELL - even though this all went down in Korean.

So there I am both hands polish off, one foot off one still on and they pick up the phone and start calling and tattling to the owner while still trying to do my nails.  Ever tried to paint a nail with a phone connected to your ear?  Not so much.  They would call, scream, get screamed at, hang up and then the entire process would begin again.  Rinse and repeat for at least 15 minutes.  Can you say tension?  As a result I've got whacked out, unidentifiable color that's already chipping off - 2 coats on some nails, 3 coats on others and no top coat - never mind that I don't even know what the hell the color actually is. See what I mean? Aggravated mayhem is on the loose this week!! 

To top it all off tonight when I stopped at the bank to do a deposit the neighborhood crazy homeless guy who has been roaming the streets for a couple months now flailing his dirty arm cast that's sometimes on his leg (?) simultaneously twitching and hollering at the top of his lungs while downing a 40 of beer with his free hand was beating up on the very ATM I needed to use.  Hitting it full force. When I looked up from my deposit slip and saw him approaching my car at a rapid pace suffice it to say I fired it up, hit reverse and sped off faster than you could say, "pass that 40".  Life's too short.  Bills can wait.

Speaking of aggravated mayhem...

Amsterdam Clog - by Dulce Shoes

I might be committing some of my own when these babies show up next week.  Hope the UPS guy doesn't accidentally hit me in the head with them when he throws them on the stoop. You know, aggravated mayhem style...(sorry I couldn't resist).

Have a great weekend everyone!  Posts will go back to "normal" next week.  Hopefully with a recipe and a few fashion finds.

xoxo,
Carrie
p.s. - Don't forget to enter for the Ebelskiver Pan and Turning Tools...we could all use a few chocolate filled pancakes in our lives.

90 comments:

Katie said...

Oh wow - way too much aggravated mayhem going on! I'm definitely going to steal/borrow the phrase, though!

Claire Kiefer said...

I'm struck by both how awesome it would be to be arrested for "mayhem" and how AWESOME those shoes are--omg! They're amazing!

Beauty H2T said...

you really make me laugh, the trip to get your nails done sounds AWFUL! poor you!

Bx

Krystal said...

aggravated mayhem!!! you have me wanting to say it! i keep saying it, actually, over and over in my head....hahahaha i love it. *insert diabolical laugh* i can't even focus on anything else!
ok except for the fact that your nail story is crazy! but hilarious mental image of you just sitting there like wtf.
and yes, i will pour one out for you this weekend!

eleanor said...

Oh my, I LOVE the shoes! They are such a gorgeous colour!

X

Beauty H2T said...

no wonder you sped off so fast. What an end to the week! Clarisonic has been my dream for months, with this disount it would cost about a £100 to get it here to me, they are £150 to buy in the UK but then I will still have to pay custom tax with it being sent here as it is coming from a company :(

Grrrrr.

xxxxxxxx

jemina said...

Aggravated mayhem indeed, hope you are feeling better now, hugs n kisses, xoxo

Debby said...

What a week you are having! Getting your nails done should be relaxing. I had a bit of aggravated mayhem myself last nigh. I came home from a relaxing dinner/movie with my favorite niece only to walk into a firestorm of teen drama. I am adopting your new phrase ~ love it. I can't wait to say to my kids, "That's enough aggravated mayhem for now." They are going to think, "What the hell is she talking about." Have a relaxing weekend, Carrie, hopefully it will be stress free. xo

Susan said...

OMG that is so funny... to read... your writing is awesome. Starting my day with a smile now :)

My two favorite words "severely beyond...
how eva "aggravated mayhem is going to stick in my mind now.

Loving the shoes!!! Way to get super tall in 2 seconds flat.

Have a wonderful weekend. (I have a date :)
cheers
Susan

Jessica said...

Oh, Carrie! I'm over here cracking up! Who knew aggravated mayhem could be so fun!

True story: when I was born, my mom considered giving me the middle name "May" because I was born in the month of May (creative). She put the kibosh on that when she said "May" with my last name, "Hamm." I could have been "aggravated MayHamm!"

this free bird said...

OMG JESSICA!! THAT IS THE BEST!!! why am i up?? going to get a few winks.

Susan!! deets on the date!! yay!!

Debbie - oh honey. Those teenagers know how to cause the aggravated mayhem!

ahahahaha

Fé... said...

I don't get it at all? What's it all about?

Café Bellini said...

I wonder what the whole Korean aggravated mayhem was about? Sounds scary. And I'm SO glad you drove off - there's no way that homeless guy's got car insurance so he wouldn't have paid up for any damage! I think you've had enough excitement, sorry aggravated mayhem, for a week, so I hope also - for your sake! - that life goes back to 'normal' soon :-) GET SOME SLEEP! (And what kind of woman BITES off an EAR? Eww yuck?!)

Fashion Meets Food said...

Oh my goodness girly! I literally FLIP out when my nails get chipped! It's the most annoying thing ever!

xo

Allison said...

Favorite blog to date - down to the homeless guy beating down the ATM! Rolling!

Debby said...

You are certainly having a "fun" week.
Be careful....find a new salon, hah....and a new
ATM.......((((HUGS))))

Julie (brown eyed belle) said...

Mayhem is a word I need to start using more often, lol. I like it, especially the way you used it!! Is it ok that I was cracking up??

I get a little paranoid when I get my nails done the way they always talk in Chinese, eeeeek!

I hope your life resumes it regularly scheduled programming next week :)

Have a wonderful weekend, my lady! MUAH!!

Pretty Pleased said...

HaHa this tale got my morning off to a snickering start! I can take any aggrevations today brings after hearing how well you handeled the mayhem this week :) Thanks for the laughs (and the shoe envy~those clogs!!!)
xo
MC
www.prettypleasedblog.com

OneCraftyFox said...

Very powerful examples of your new-found term. LOL!!

The Korean nail salon totally cracked me up, I had a similar experience once. And much like you, I am confused about the arm cast that also magically fits ones leg...?

Happy weekend sweetie, thanks so much for the Friday giggles!! ;)

Annie said...

Awww Carrie what a week you've had! I hope you have a nice peaceful weekend. xo

Travels in Heels said...

LOL! Seriously you are funny!

Have you tried getting the gel manicures? They stay on much longer than a regular one.

xo,
Sara
www.travelsinheels.blogspot.com

style'n said...

Carrie-Oh I got a good laugh reading the part about the shoes! And by the way those shoes are amazing! And-yes how about a picture of that bubble skirt next week? It's great to get good finds isnt' it?
I agree with Melissa too-may need to read Lunch in Paris as well. We can compare notes after reading it.
Have a great weekend,
Naina

Abby said...

Oh. My. God. This sounds so absolutely insane! Your poor nails! And your ears!

Jess said...

I just about peed in my pants reading that story. You crack me up, Carrie! Love it.

Nikki said...

Carrie you are so funny.
I love the aggravated mayhem. I'll be using that all weekend.

BTW The same thing happens to me EVERY SINGLE TIME I get my nails done. There is always some sort of chaotic episode with screaming and huffing, resulting in a less than perfect mani !
I'm thinking I need to switch salons...

Have a great weekend hunnie

xx
Nikki

Cafe Fashionista said...

I have never had my nails done professionally before; but after reading this, I don't think I want to. Chaos! And I LOVE those shoes - you are going to rock it in those babies!

Happy, Happy Weekend, my love!! :)

Me, Only Better said...

I love it! Aggravated Mayhem! I never get my fingernails done - they always chip within a day. I love having pedicures though (= Keep out of mayhem, missy!

Rachel said...

Aggravated mayhem? Lol! I've never heard of that. But I would have assumed if a woman bit another person's ear off, that would be assault or something.

Hope you have a great weekend!

Jammer said...

AHHH! that is so crazy! I kind of hope that this is the fall out of some torrid love affair gone wrong! That would be very exciting and sooo Days of Our Lives! Happy weekend to you and the chef!

http://jammer10am.blogspot.com/

Ellen said...

those shoes could not be more perfect!

Fashion Court said...

i seriously love your way of storytelling! cute blog! xoxo

Brianna said...

Haha, you made me laugh with the Korean story. I've never had my nails professionally done but I went in with a friend once and got hit on by this guy that probably wasn't even as tall as my chest. Slightly amusing. That's my only experience of nail salons, lol.

Valerie said...

That nail story is so funny, Carrie! I've had that happen where things get heated and they start raising their voices in Korean, but never to the extent you had to deal with! I'm guessing you've already found yourself a new nail salon. Haha.

xo
Valerie

Krista said...

QUIT telling people about the giveaway! I want to win!! K, now that that is done, I'm sending love to Chef's mom every minute, I think you need to learn some Korean, aggravated mayhem is my new catch phrase and I want your weekend to be fabulous, so I left you a little something on my blog. Loves.

The Zhush said...

Those shoes are HOT! Hope things calm down a bit by you! Happy Weekend!

Tamara Nicole said...

Crazy crazy! Also, sorry to hear about your BF's mom! Hope she has a speedy recovery, and have a relaxing weekend miss!

Marcie said...

That is hilarious. You took me back to my law school days with this post!

xo Marcie

Ashley said...

LoL! What a crazy week! Aggravated mayhem describes it perfectly! I'd have been terrified if people started screaming in front of me, I probably would've run away with half my nails dripping wet, LoL! You're braver than me to have sat through it all :) Well, hopefully all the bad luck is out of the way now and next week will be absolutely fabulous! Love those shoes you ordered, too!

-Ashley
http://breakfastatsaks.blogspot.com

prepfection said...

Lots of drama for you it sounds like, love your writing, this post made me laugh out loud.

Kiki said...

Yes, this is absolutely funny...and I think my old words - OMG, have just been replaced with "aggravated mayhem"

XOXO
Kiki

Charleston Girl said...

I'm loving your blog... I gave you an award today on mine! :)

Lacey in the City said...

I think I'm most perturbed by - no, not the crazy 40-touting, cast slinging bum - the terrible mani/pedi. When I go in for a mani/pedi, I expect it to be a relaxing experience. What area do you live in in LA? I used to live in Beverly Hills, so my all-time fave place is Contempo Nails on Robertson, 1/2 a block north of Olympic. My whole family goes there. Even though everyone now lives in Silverlake, North Hollywood, and Culver City, they all do the drive just to go see Diane and her girls at Contempo. I swear by them and strongly recommend :)

MarchMusings said...

Love that story. Some days are 'aggravated mayhem'-when everything seems to go haywire and I wonder if my guardian angel has gone AWOL.That's if I have one!!

Heather {A Measure Of...} said...

Love your funny post so full of aggravated mayhem! Reading this is definitely a great start to my weekend! And those shoes are amazing! I never wear heels (well, especially here), but I LOVE these! And I always love heels in general, even if I don't don them myself... I blame it on the foot surgery.

xoxoxo!

PursuitOfLLT said...

Aggravated Mayhem for sure! Your trip to the nail salon sounds miz, sorry to hear that! Your week sounds like one from hell, and so so sorry to hear about your mom's friend. Oddly enough my close friend from growing up just lost her mom to ovarian cancer yesterday. I'm still processing it.

I mean this was the lady who had us over for pool parties and sleepovers and had us over for champagne before a recent friend's wedding. Life just isn't fair and cancer is a bitch!

Hope next week goes better for you, hang in there!! Maybe you'll be the first winner of my freebie friday ;)

http://pursuitofllt.blogspot.com/

Indie.Tea said...

Those are gorgeous shoes. I'm sure you'll enjoy them once they arrive.
Wouldn't aggravated mayham also be a cool nail polish name?

DT ~ RDH said...

What a story! (sorry about your nails though.) AGGAVATED MAYHEM! love that. :P

Bren said...

I'm SO going to use aggravated mayhem in a sentence tonight! No one will get it...it'll be my private joke. :) I was dying when you were talking about the crazy homeless guy, that sometimes wears his arm cast on his leg! Ahahahahaha! I would've left too! Bummer that you couldn't make your deposit. The good news is that you have some fab shoes coming your way! Love them!

p.s. Felicity is my drug! Are you Ben or Noel? :)

xoxo,
Bren @ Chasing Beauty

Daniela said...

....aggravated mayhem no good. lol I hate that the Korean ladies made u feel like that. I totally know how that feels. I've solved that problem though by finding someone who comes to my house to do my nails. $25, mani & pedi, my tv, my bucket of water. lol

have a great weekend without any mayhem.

Sher said...

Now you've got my head stuck on that phrase! And the clogs are absolutely gorgeous, wear them out for us as soon as it arrives!!

So sorry to hear about Chef's mama, I hope she pulls through this and come out of it soon. Lotsa hugs for you and the family:)

xx

Style Attic said...

You are definitely DJ "AM" now! Sing it sista!! And those shoes will help you to just Walk-On-By :)

Kendall said...

Wow. That's all I have to say! Thanks for stopping by my blog, I appreciate it!

charmaine said...

Hey Carrie!

How you doing? (in a deep Wendy Williams voice) I hope you know who she is. Well girlfriend it looks like you had quite a week. Talking about some aggravated mayhem, girl you're a good one. Better you than me. Now I'm usually a lady, but ghetto sistah would have had to come out! She's a lady too, she just takes care of business a little different, if you know what I mean. Don't mess with the nails, I would have been hot. I know you were like "what in the world is going on." Now, I just wish we knew what they were talking about. Too bad you didn't have an interpreter available. You are a hoot. I just love how you tell your stories!

The story about the homeless man, girl, I can't stop laughing! LoL!! I would have done the same thing. The deposit can wait. Well I'm glad your safe and you made it through the week. And those shoes are fabulous! Wishing you a wonderful weekend!

God Bless,
Charmaine

Josie said...

You are honestly one of the funniest people alive. I'm more than slightly too obsessed with your blog, doll. And totally stealing your new catchphrase. Here's to things going back to normal next week!
xo Josie
http://winksmilestyle.blogspot.com

LyddieGal said...

Aggravated Mayhem sounds cool, but I'm sorry you had to live it!

Where is Frank Costanza when you need him?

Chic on the Cheap

this free bird said...

Lyddie!! Ahahaaha!! You took the words right out of my mouth with that one. :)

Carissa said...

oh man, that clog. look like the one I've been searching for

ChinkyGirLMeL said...

Oh wow. I love that word. I can't wait to use it myself. But wow, the thing when you got your nails done definitely an aggravated mayhem situation. I hope this weekend is mayhem free. =)

Half Dressed said...

Oh man that sounds like one memorable nail appointment! :P

L x

http://only-halfdressed.blogspot.com/

Daniela said...

Hi! me again. Thanks for the comment - I love yours too :)
I don't know if where u live theres a big Brazilian community, but I am Brazilian and there's always someone who prefers to work in the person's home (so as not to pay salon fee). Track down someone and ask!! I'll post a pic of my nails for you to see - they come out perfect (their much better at shaping/cuticles) and she only charges $25. Also, I use my own cuticle tools, etc.. so I don't have to worry.
(Did you know that Jennifer Aniston has her nails done in her home by a Brazilian woman? lol)
Any, the woman will probably take her own nail polished which will be a brazilian brand - they last much longer but take FOREVER to dry, and in your home u won't have that air machine.

Hope u find someone!!
xx, D

walrus studio said...

what a crazy adventure! maybe you should start a band, call it...Aggravated Mayhem!

Couture Carrie said...

Fabulous clogs, darling!

xoxox,
CC

Bren said...

I was Noel, then had a Ben moment, unitl I met Noel! LOL! I met Scott Foley when I was working on an AFI video at the same lot he was shooting the Unit! Totally renewed my Noel obsesh!

That show was the best! I love reliving it on dvd, only I wish they would've kept all of the music from the series. I guess they kind of blew obtaining the rights to some of the tunes. Still love it though.

xoxo,
Bren @ Chasing Beauty

Kim said...

Thank You for your comment!!!
Yes Israel is really fun.
I was born in Israel and lives there for 4 years haha.
I will make many pictures ;D
xxxx

Poppies and Sunshine said...

Wow, what stories! And I love this new phrase...I can tell already...it's gonna spread! I am totally going to start using it! haha

Cristiana.C said...

I follow you with bloglovin, can you follow my blog too on blogger?
like your blog!!
http://obsessedwithglamour.blogspot.com/

Krislyn said...

i absolutely love this! the amsterdam clog = love.

Elle Sees said...

awwww. i hope your weekend is lovely.

Ashley said...

Those shoes are so great, love the delicate color and ankle strap! Great choice =)

xx
MILK TEETHS

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm...Aggravated Mayhem. Sounds like a killer nail colour.

Cool Gal said...

I'm sorry, but that nail story is really funny. I can almost see it happening. Hopefully it will be better next time. LOL!

The story about the homeless guy is hilarious, too. What IS with the cast anyway??

Aggravated mayhem...never heard, but will definitely be using it.

The clogs are fabulous. Love them!

Join the Gossip said...

Ha! I have never heard of aggravated mayhem, I do love it though ;)

Sorry about your nails. It's uncomfortable enough when they speak in a different language and you are afraid they are speaking about you. But for them to get crazy with each other? Awkward!

Polina ,Julia ,Nastia said...

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we hope you visit our blog and follow there,please)
we think you would be interested)))

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Turquoise and Lily said...

love your nail polish color.. and thanks for your comment.. have a nice day :)

Diana Mieczan said...

Hahah...that is such a good story...aggravated mayhem indeed!!!

I hope that you are having a wonderful weekend...sweetie:) relaxing and wiht pretty nails:)

Kisses and see you soon:)

Muah

Diana Mieczan said...

I mean....Relax with your pretty nails:)

Muah

JULIA said...

Oh my :')

Entertaining post :')

Style, She Wrote said...

Ah! What a scary -- and thoroughly unrelaxing -- manicure!

Olivia Isabella. said...

Such a great post; had me laughing out loud! If it makes it any better, I like your nail colour.
Thank you for your comment on the squishingmushrooms interview, so lovely!
UO x
http://unionolivia.blogspot.com/

JC. said...

ahaha I love your blog! Im following, this is such a great post, I laughed.

tash said...

It just has to be in the air!!! Fool moon lunatic behavior perhaps? Either way I'm over the madness too I say here here to everything calming down a little!

Great blog :)

tash xo

http://www.thechirpyladybird.blogspot.com

Kerri said...

i so want to be involved in some aggravated mayhem!! i love that phrase, too!

lucy and sarah said...

beautiful nail color..and such a story teller too.

ori said...

Wow, so cool. Great shoes there, amazing.

nick and heath said...

I hope your weekend was great. Loved the tale you wove. Great nails and shoes..so cool.

ivy's closet said...

Great stuff..and all the best on blogging and then some. Cool blog!!!!

Taylor said...

i. need. these. shoes.

this free bird said...

Taylor I will let you know if they are as dreamy in person as they are in the picture!!

xoxo,
Carrie:)

Corey said...

Thank God you were not in the middle of one of their debilitating "massages" when this broke out or you would have been out of commission for a week!

Amanda said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog! :) From the comments it appears that you said something about your nails, but I got all hung up on "aggravated mayhem". Those were my LEAST FAVORITE cases to read in Criminal Law and Criminal Procedure (not that any of them were particularly fabulous). I actually had nightmares. It's a horrible, horrible crime ::shiver::

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