Monday, January 16, 2012

The Bachelor Recap: Get In Your Hearse and Hit the Road

Someone just visited my blog via searching the following words in Google:

Ben Flajnik idiot

Interestingly enough, I'm the one who feels like an idiot during and after watching The Bachelor. My head actually aches at how stupid the women behave, and how the bachelor or bachelorette makes out with everyone. Discretion and decency? Dead.

So here's the thing: I didn't watch the show minute-by-minute this week. I just couldn't do it. Instead it played in the background while I worked and tidied my place up. Here's what I gathered:

-There were some one-on-one dates.
-On a group date a bunch of women who cannot ski proceeded to ski down a street in San Francisco wearing nothing but skimpy bikinis. Humility is dead and an Asian man standing on a corner watching this mess is scarred for life. So am I.
-Granny's girl Britney decided she really wasn't into childish, mean girl games to try and win the heart of a guy who shamelessly kisses everyone. Exit stage left.
-Ben kissed all the girls and displayed his tongue at least twice as I walked by gagging.
-The women squabbled amongst themselves.
-Courtney's still a hag.
-Ben kept kissing girls in plain view of the ones he just finished kissing.
-Ben strikes me as kind of a pig. I used to like him, but now think he's gross.
-Shawntel the Funeral Director showed up for 'a shot at love' because she had met Ben before and they had chemistry.
-Some of them got just smashed and slurred away to the camera and each other during the cocktail party. Eff bombs and foul language were at an all-time high. Keep it classy there 'ladies'.
-They verbally attacked Shawntel. How predictable.
-Jacquelyn bawled her head off during the rose ceremony.
-Erika fainted. Twice.
-Courtney the hag laid a passive aggressive threat on Ben as she fake hesitated to accept his rose.
-Ben showed his true colors by falling prey to her threats and eliminating Shawntel (and the crier and the fainter). Snip, snip, snip. That was to show Courtney he means business! What-ever dude. Get a haircut and keep your tongue in your mouth.

I don't know anything else about the episode and I'm not giving these desperadoes any play by digging up their pictures. I realize it's all in the name of entertainment, but this show is degrading to women. Who in their right mind would want to fight over a guy? Much less a guy who has his tongue down everyone's throat?

Dear Kacie B.: Be grateful he chose Courtney. Keep running and don't look back!!


Dancing Branflake said...

Hahaha! My sentiments exactly. It's like when you go into WalMart and you say, "These people are crazy!" and then you realize, "I'm these people!"

Allison said...

Love it! I refuse to watch that mess anymore! I will not watch a show about a bunch of pathetic woman getting dumped by the same man.

this free bird said...

Thank you and good night.

RosaLovesDC said...

These people are crazy Carrie. I honestly stopped watching the show a couple of years ago, but your recaps are so awesome. How gross that this guy is going around kissing all these girls and that these girls are all fighting over this guy. Crazy I tell you. And wait, why was that girl fainting all the time?

Closet Fashionista said...

Oh sounds lovely...
I don't understand people...who would actually want to do all that junk on tv...your friends [and possible employers] will see it XD

Courtney Erin said...

I flat out love that someone was directed to your blog with that search term. The best I ever saw in my stats was "old lady leggings." I prefer not to think about why/how that connects back to me.

Courtney ~

grunge-queen said...

Your summary of the show was a hoot. I watched that program only once and it made me want to barf - every one is bitchy, crass and back-stabbing.

I haven't dropped in in a long time - as always it's highly entertaining reading your posts. You're a great writer! Happy New Year Carrie!

Melissa Blake said...

i haven't broken down and started watching the bachelor...though i'm scared the day will come eventually!

Lisa Griffin said...

Watching Chinatown watch those girls fly down the streets in bikinis was one of the most hilarious moments ABC has managed to produce hahaha
in dramatic fashion

Lena at A Crimson Kiss said...

Obviously I have to watch the skiing in SF segment, because it's too ridiculous not to enjoy. But yeah, I have to agree that Ben seems like an ass, and not a particularly amusing one at that.

Marie a la Mode said...

He sure likes to kiss women, with his tongue too. I'm surprised he didn't swallow any of those catty girls!

The Suburb Experiment said...

I couldn't watch this one with full attention either. The bikini skiing was so humiliating to WATCH, why those women actually participated is beyond me.

And was Shawtel drowning kittens or kicking puppies off-screen? Because it's pretty much the only reason I could see for grown women reacting to someone like that. PATHETIC.

I'm actually not sure I can keep watching this season.

The Suburb Experiment

Claire Kiefer said...

I found myself a bit flabbergasted at last night's episode as well. Courtney is a mean vicious crazy monster. Blakeley is so full of herself I don't even know how to talk about her and her big mouth (except to say that she looks a little like Jessie Spano to me). Kacie B is cute. The other Kacie (blonde) is gorgeous. Most of the girls are catty as hell and freakish. Shawntel is stunning looking but damn, she just waltzed right into the cocktail party!

I like Ben less and less as well. My crush on him is long gone and his voice gets on my nerves.


I have no idea who any of these people are but I am laughing at my computer right now...this recap is brilliant and entertaining!!

Hogger and Co. said...

Hahaha, I just caught up on it, and I agree, Ben is an idiot and needs a haircut. I'm still rooting for Emily and Kacie B.

GWACK said...

That was me searching for Ben Flajnik idiot last night. Initially I was searching for his doppelganger and it came up as the GEICO Caveman, so now he's known around our place as "Ben the GEICO Caveman". Anyhow, next thing I know I'm typing in Ben Flajnik idiot and your blog popped up.

I'm so glad it did. I read a posting from the premiere episode to my wife. She laughed and laughed. We've bookmarked your page and are regularly reading now. Love it, love it, love it.

Take care!

Josie said...

No blame, Carrie. I couldn't sit still through that either.
xo Josie


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