Sunday, December 5, 2010

How To Get the Best Christmas Tree

Christmas tree shopping is a sport - you're in it to win it and you want off that lot with the motherload.  Everyone there is in a tete-a-tete for the best tree, and if you think otherwise you're a party of one (and a very nice person so no worries there).  Now of course, due to size of tree, there will be multiple games occurring simultaneously:  small, medium, large, flocked vs. unflocked - but we're all there for one thing...to make our Christmas wishes come true.  Starting with the primo tree that no one else was able to snag before you did.

While searching for my Christmas tree this weekend I took copious mental notes of the play-by-play so as to prepare anyone out there who may still be waiting to embark on this year's tree journey.  Read and enjoy...and may you score your tree come true.

Step 1:  If shopping for a real tree, pick a lot with many tree choices.  This involves eyeballing a few lots prior to the "big day".  A good tree lot is a jewel in your Christmas crown.

Exhibit A

Step 2:  Immediately lose your marbles in Christmas dream delight and head to trees that could
no way in hell fit in your home.
Step 3:  Given just a few moments (or a half an hour to an hour) you eventually 
snap out of it when others begin to storm the lot.  
Panic sets in and you get into a row where there are several possibilities.  
Like sheep, they all follow you. 
Step 4:  Begin saying things like, 
"These trees suck.  I think they're DEAD...needles are everywhere.  
The guy down the street had suuuuuch good ones.  Let's go there." 
Watch them all scurry to their cars leaving you to make a selection.
The guy down the street has zipola for trees.  
You've already been there 3x this week.
 Step 5:  To avoid making a rash decision, and to head off the few remaining stragglers, 
you go to the far opposite corner of the lot and feign interest.  
Really what's happening here is I ended up wanting 2 trees, but that's 
a different story for a different time.
 Suddenly you overhear one of "the others" making comments about a tree in the
section you just came from.  What was that?!
They think they're going to head back and get the very tree  
(of the 7 that were your possibilities) that you wanted!
Oh hell no they aren't!!
Step 6:  Now prepared for Christmas Tree Battle Royale 2010 you make a 
mad dash back to the section, ignoring aisle markers and 
bobbing and weaving between trees.
Step 7:  Victory is mine!!  I've had Richard the tree guy in my back pocket since
we tipped him the night before for Operation:  Tree Stakeout.
Bonus tips:  While your partner stands guard and never takes his eye off the tree
so none of the bitter Betty's (and Fred's) can shank it out from under you...
(tree lot people work for the highest bidder if you didn't know...except you Richard)
You shamelessly stalk this woman so you can ask where she
got those deep purple knee-high suede boots.
Marshalls!  

You race over there with the tree tied to the top of the car (a la Chevy Chase and fam with the their dead granny strapped to the roof of the station wagon) only to discover the boots are sold out in your size and the world's biggest Christmas parade has kicked off in your neighborhood so you have to take approximately 75 different back routes in order to get back home.  Upon arriving you discover everyone and their mother has descended, parking illegally and blocking up alleys for hours so, in the spirit of the season, (and this one) you call the tow trucks and unload the tree discovering it might be a bit too big to fit in the house.

Happy Monday!!

Outfit details:  Elizabeth and James-Poncho, Martin+Osa (RIP)-Skinny Denim, Ash-Boots, Foley+Corinna- Mid-City Tote, Melinda Maria-Necklace

75 comments:

Danielle (elleinadspir) said...

Ha. I love it. I gave up all control and let the boy (4 yrs old) pick out his tree. It's a bit uneven, but it'll work and is sweet.

samantha. said...

wow, so glad you were victorious in your endeavor! can't wait to see it all decorated!

xx
sami

Kate said...

Bahaha, I love this post! Excellent tips! I had a similar situation wreath hunting last weekend! I spotted a great wreath at the farmer's market last Saturday, but wanted to check out the other wreath booths before deciding on this one. I should have, clearly, had the fella stand guard until I made my decision, but instead chose to wander arm in arm in my festive daze and check out the other wreaths. "Okay, I think that first one was the one!" I announce, and we go back to see a little girl and her mom standing there. The little girl is looking at a different wreath, but the mother says "Oh, but honey, the bow is better on this one, do you want this one?" and to my great dismay, the little girl said yes. And my wreath was a gonner. Sigh! I still got a lovely wreath, but couldn't help but mourn over the loss!

Kim@Chattafabulous said...

Haha! Yeah, that's why we went artificial!

She Wore It Well said...

We have zero Christmas spirit in Australia :( and no real trees, only synthetic ones. And my apartment has no room for a tree and B has banned me from decorating (mostly cos we'll be away during the period and because he's mean).

Makes me sad. Put up photos of your decorated tree and I'll pretend

XX

Allison said...

Haha! You crack me up! Great story. I love how you followed around the woman and asked about her boots. :)

Josie said...

Wait, there were trees in this post? Silly me, I couldn't take my eyes off of your boots! I've never been Christmas tree shopping (we've had the same artificial for several years, although it does look ridiculously real) but it looks like quite the sport!
xo Josie
http://winksmilestyle.blogspot.com

Claire Kiefer said...

Heehee . . . you are hilarious. I am struggling over here, cause I don't have a tree of my very own, and I'm sad about it. BUT, I kinda feel like it wouldn't be worth the money and hassle, given that I'm gone for the two weeks immediately surrounding Christmas (visiting my family in GA, and they have trees for me to admire). But where are my ornaments supposed to go? If I were a crafting goddess, I'm sure I could come up with some banner or twine contraption on which to display my ornaments . . . but I'm not a crafting goddes. I'm a champagne guzzling goddess.

Rose said...

haha GREAT! Xmas is always soo exciting to me, i love the spirit of it!
Great blog :)
Keep up the great work!
xx Rose.
www.worned.blogspot.com

-Sam I Am- said...

You are TOO CUTE! I LOVE your outfit btw. So stinkin' cute!

And I have never picked out a tree like this before! But, after seeing this post I wanna go get one like RIGHT NOW! Thanks for sharing all the tips and photos :)

jemina said...

HA HA HA HA HA, you are funny babe, I didn't know that tree shopping could be complicated :), and that is one FABULOUS tree you got there, can't wait to see the pics when the tree's done dolled up :)

Kisses
J
xoxo

Katie said...

Marshalls is like, a hidden treasure trove or something. We went there to get a Christmas present for my mother-in-law, but I found a Michael Kors purse I wanted instead, Jared said we weren't buying it, I pitched a fit and made him get my in-laws on the phone and asked if they wanted to give it to my for Christmas. They did. I win. I guess that was way not the point of why we went but... Michael Kors purse. It's going to look so nice with all that other stuff I've bought for people to give me. God, I love the holidays...

Miss Caitlin S. said...

hahah nice, I loved the whimsical story alongside the pictures. We cut our tree down most years but there is always a lot of fun to be had in a lot as well. Love your shoes and your sweater, insanely so! And is it just me or is that tree cutter really cute? Also, the best part of this was the first picture with the xmas trees and the palm trees in the background :)

Bethany Dirksen said...

Pretty great! I come from Oregon where a lot of the Christmas trees in the USA are actually grown. We go there to pick them out...and then cut them down ourselves. Missing that while I'm living in Belgium for sure!

Signe said...

hahaha, you are just priceless!
but that is a great tree, well done! did you figure out where she had gotten her boots? :)

Debby said...

Adorable... again making friends everywhere... the "tree guy" was only too happy to pose for the camera. Check out my post today... I think you'll like it and you might just see yourself gracing my page. xo

Lori said...

Too funny Carrie ~ we too got our tree yesterday but I think it is a but easier here... I ended up taking home the first one I looked at again this year ~ after I looked at 20 more of course! I am a picky picky tree girl but I love the one that is "just right". Now to bring it in and get the zillion lights on it. Have a good week. xo

Half Dressed said...

I love your little stories they make me giggle. Looks like you picked an awesome tree though, hope you post pics of it decorated :)

L x

Krystal said...

Oh my gosh, that was exhausting to read about. But I'm so jealous of your new tree! We're not getting one this year, just enjoying our familys' when we're home I guess :)

Jess said...

That tree is a beaut!! And love how you raced to Marshalls with it strapped to the car haha

Amber Blue Bird said...

haha i love this! I actually went to a tree farm this weekend but had zero luck. Looks like you scored quite the tree :)

Dancing Branflake said...

Haha! Yes! And those boots are so fabulous as well as your step by step guide.

Closet Fashionista said...

Haha XD I always love your stories...why are you so amazing!?
P.S. AWESOME tree :D
http://aclosetfashionista.blogspot.com/

Diva Putri said...

haha funny pics! and i love your top and also your boots. perfect :D

diva

Chic 'n Cheap Living said...

You are hilarious Carrie! I'm never messing with you over a tree!

Ooh and great poncho!

Jamie said...

Sounds like quite the adventure!! I can't wait to get my tree!!

http://www.glamlatte.com

Nikki said...

hehe I want to take you with me when I buy my tree!
You picked a great one. Looks very healthy!


xx
Nikki

Jen said...

Good tips! Good tips! I'm actually planning on getting my real tree tonight! Wish me luck! :-)

Diana Mieczan said...

Hahaha...you are so funny, sweetie..That tree is perfect! I love it:) We are getting a tree sometime next week. I cant wait
Hugs and kisses

Marie a la Mode said...

Ha ha Great tips ; ) You picked a great tree! We don't have a Christmas tree this year - I tried putting it up and my cat got into it, pine needles EVERYWHERE. I used to find her IN the tree. So we have this tiny thumbelina tree instead and she can't get to it.

Jessica said...

We have a fake tree (shameful) so we never get to experience the sport of Christmas tree shopping. You picked a gorgeous tree, though! I think I may buy a Christmas tree scented candle so I can pretend like we have a real one. That works. haha. I'm so lame!

Taylor said...

AAAAHAHAH!!! THis is hysterical, glad you finally made it home love - even thought you almost had skatboard tracks down your front ;)

Mine is up and STILL Un decorated...and there is ONE branch i need to cut, it make the tree look like it is falling over - anyone have a saw i could borrow?!!?

kirstyb said...

in love with your boots xxxxxx

TheChambrayCountess said...

Hahaha! I love the recap- I had no idea Christmas tree shopping was such an intense mission! Oh, and your outfit was great, the boots = love!

Marcie said...

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this post, Carrie. And it is so true! "Like sheep" everyone did end up in our row yesterday. They even were taking my hubby's box cutter to open trees without asking!! Luckily, we got a small Charlie Brown tree this year, so there wasn't much competition.

Your tree is faboosh! I just love it! Noble fir is the best and ONLY tree I get.

xo M

Lacey in the City said...

I loved the play by play! I was consistently anxious to know the next move!!

Daisy said...

freaking hilarious as always. oh the holiday adventures!!

Valerie said...

Haha, this is hilarious! I had no idea getting a tree was so cut-throat. You definitely have it down to a science though, I'm impressed. We have a fake tree and put it up on Friday, which was really fun. I hope you had a good rest of your weekend! Mine was busy but really fun.

xo
Valerie

Alicia said...

AHaha, you look so happy in that last picture (xmas tree success!!)! ps: LOVE those boots!

just a girl said...

My parents would have the same fight every year.

Mom: We need to get a 9 foot tree because we have 9 foot ceilings.
Dad: That doesn't make sense, it wouldn't fit and scrape up the ceiling.
Mom: You always have to cut a little bit of it off anyway and if it's an 8 foot tree it would then be too short.

And it would go on like this for about an hour before my Dad in strained silence would tie the 9 foot tree to the car.

My parents now have a fake tree.

Isabel said...

im a fake tree kinda girl. so much easier and u only need to buy it once

la petite coquine said...

You have me giggling at work! This sounds just like our epic tree hunts when I was kid, and then inevitably the tree would NEVER fit in the house! Last year, John and I actually took ours back ON THE BUS-it smelled fragrant, but was a huge pain in the ass!

hip hip gin gin said...

Hilarious! It looks like you got away with one gorgeous tree there!! Sorry about the boots, but at least you asked her, I am always too shy to ask people where they got things. So they probably think that I am just creepy and that's why I'm staring at them.

Vic said...

i miss the real tree shopping except we keep it up so long there is just no possible way i can handle it anymore.....that's a gorgeous one! I'm much like you....get out of my way...let me dig in....ha...enjoy the week

FRANKIE HEARTS FASHION said...

I love a tough chick on a mission! Looks like you sccccored a fab tree. And can we just talk about your tree picking outfit?! Those are some pretty fierce boots to be strutting on some wood shavings. I'm pretty sure all the chicks sporting their sweats and uggs were total jeally belly's...xoxo

Bonnie said...

... Or you could let your man do all the work for you.
I don't know what the hell I am doing with this stuff. I live by fake trees.

xoxo.
http://glamkittenslitterbox.blogspot.com/

Annie said...

so fun/funny to see the palm trees in the background.. A very posh outfit for picking out your tree - love it! :) Nice work!! xo

Anna Walker said...

You're super awesome! :)
I can't believe you two did that!
Complete teamwork!
Oh and my only prerequisite for a tree that it is taller than me ! (5'4")

http://annawalker1992.blogspot.com/

Couture Carrie said...

Really fun post, darling!
Love your tree!

xoxox,
CC

Kimbirdy said...

haha! awesome. i was sure to use my elbows when snagging our cute/perfect tree. :) "out of my way bitches! this one is mine!"

Courtney Erin said...

This makes me want a real tree as opposed to my trusty fake one. I'm just so terrified that my cats will totally destroy a real one and possibly maim themselves in the process. They are a very ill behaved lot.

xoxo ~ Courtney
http://sartorialsidelines.blogspot.com

Velvet Dawn said...

Hi, thanks for stopping by...I am reading your blog...very creative!!! I love your style...stop by and say hello anytime and have a great week!!! Dawn Suitcase Vignettes:D

Velvet Dawn said...

I love that you rescue cats...I just saved 3 little kittens from a parking lot...they are doing great. Dawn Suitcase Vignettes.

Cara said...

bahahah! This was totally us this weekend...
we searched, we bought, we RETURNED, searched, and bought again! What a production!!

Alleen said...

Great tips but it's artificial for us! Your tree looks amazing and such detail and love went in to picking it! Love it! xoxo

ryan said...

Aw if searching for a tree was a fun and sunny event I would be so down. But it's cold and gray here, so I opt for a fake one, I don't like to be cold! Cute post!

abigail said...

beautiful tree! We're off to get ours tomorrow and I cannot wait.

Mary said...

I love Chrystmas tree shopping:)))
Yesterday I bought my tree!!
xx Mary
fashionteaat5.blogspot.com
Ps:There was maybe a problem with Googles and you is not in my followers. Please try again when you can.
xx Mary
fashionteaat5.blogspot.com

THE ALTERNATIVE WIFE said...

Hahaha I just love these pix too! My tree shopping experience looks so different. Me not looking anywhere near as fabulous as you, bundled up in my parka, scarf, gloves and hat haggling with a guy on a street corner in NYC. Can we switch please? :)

xoxo

Lisa Griffin said...

hahahah great post! my favorite christmas memories are the screaming and cursing while my dad tries to get my mom's ridiculously oversized trees in the house! ps fabulous poncho!
www.indramaticfashion.com

Anna Jane said...

ha! i haven't been tree hunting since i was a kid, but i will tuck these tips away for next year perhaps. i love how you stalked that woman to see where she got her boots! um, and is she like the size of my pinky?

xx

Kerri said...

we got very lucky with our tree this year and found a nice one after just shaking about 3 of them! :)

glad u found out about the boots- i would've stalked that lady too!

Jude said...

Hahaha, I love the stalking of the woman and you totally scored a beauty of a tree. We've pretty much got a tiny Charlie Brown tree (was tempted to hang just 1 red ornament on it to really get that Charlie Brown effect, but the S.O. vetoed on the grounds it was just too sad! :))

Christine said...

you are HILARIOUS! thanks for stopping by my blog, so glad to find yours! xoxox

LyddieGal said...

Goodness, the tree hunt is always an exhausting one!
I like to cut my own (literally, not just find it and then get the guy to cut it - I need to do it)
And it seems to get harder to find the perfect tree every year!

Can't wait to see yours decorated!

Chic on the Cheap

Lisa Lisa Lisa said...

Tooo funny! You are so cute. I'm sure your tree is perfect. Richard probably thinks you're perfect. All is well =)

Stacey said...

Ha ha! I think you can get whatever you want Carrie:-). You're a charmer! That tree is a beauty too! XX

A La Mode et Plus! said...

Haha you are too cute! I love your outfit (especially the boots) by the way!!

Death By Shoe said...

Hahaha I very much enjoyed your tree guidelines, it's so true!

Love the blog btw :)

-Danielle

Tanya (a Taste of T) said...

I love this post. well your tree looks great but your outfit for tree picking is AMAZING. Love the boots. Sometimes my worst days force me to ask myself what I really want to be doing. Amazing what thoughts come out of my head :).

Kristin said...

I really miss having a live tree. Le sigh. Those boots rock lady!

jadore said...

We are going to get ours this week! Yours looks beautiful!

Bella @Bellgetsreal said...

I love your tree picking outfit.

Beautiful tree.
We cut ours down each year and I am always listening to the others and watching what they want..HMMM maybe they saw something I didn't?

Kara said...

Who knew Christmas tree shopping was an intense sport that involves greasing the help? You're so funny!!

Bruce said...

Thanks for a great post
How to buy a Christmas tree

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails