Someone Call 911 We've Got a Shoe Down

Anyone following me on twitter knows I am a huge fan of Nancy Grace (and Dateline and 20/20 as evidenced here and here but that's another story).  Very seldom does a day go by when I am not found, at 4:58pm, skidding across the livingroom to get the perfect spot on the couch just in time to hear Nancy scream out, "THIS JUST IN...".  She advocates for missing persons, victims and victims families more than anyone else out there.  (Speaking of which did you catch last week when she dropped the bomb that Beth Holloway Twitty snuck into Castro Castro in Peru to go face-to-face with Joran Van der Sloot and let him know she won't rest until she finds out what he did with Natalee's body?!?!?!  And did you hear when Nancy divulged the news that sicko VdS  has been getting conjugal visits from random women and having big ol' parties while in there too?!?!?  I was so ENRAGED I took to the phone lines to see if I could get through to Nancy and have her send me on location with Jean Casarez.  At least send me out to speak with Beth Holloway Twitty, Nancy!! I think I missed my calling.  How I would love to be a reporter!  Beth are you out there?? We need to talk - no more prison visits where you could be killed lady!!  One day you will testify against urine Joran...).

Anyway.  I digress.

But speaking of victims...BOMBSHELL TONIGHT!  A crime has been committed in shoeville and Inspector Shoeseau (aka me) is on the case bringing you all the latest.

UGG For Jimmy Choo (or is that UGH?)

From now on I think I will just refer to it as "That Ain't Right"

Here we have the Mandah.  Only $795. (yeah. get there)

 What was that?  A little pricey for you?

How about the Starlit?  Only $595.

You prefer something a little taller?

(please tell me you've been drinking for 3 days straight and don't realize this is a bedazzled Ugg)

How about the Sora?  Comes in chocolate and black too.

Oh yeah before I forget $695.

Trying to get your animal print on for fall?

Here's the Kaia in Zebra.  Also a mere $595.

I'm sorry but this collaboration is an atrocity.  I don't care if Nikki Hilton is wearing it (did Paris slip her some coke?? sorry I couldn't resist).  Actually I don't care if the QUEEN herself is endorsing it, the whole thing is just wrong.  

Now don't get me wrong.  I love an UGG.  Roll your eyes or whatever, but it's the beach and it's Southern California - we UGG.  I'm even guilty of UGG's and shorts.  Shoot me.  I can deal with it.  I used to be the biggest UGG hater of them all.  Until I found myself lying face down on the sidewalk outside of church one morning after getting scared to death by a barking rabid dog - that I thought was going to get out of its fence when it was only the neighbor's gate that was opening after all - having severely twisted my ankle on a jagged piece of sidewalk while looking terrified for the dog instead of keeping an eye on where I was going (think MAN DOWN! I actually screamed and gagged all at once as I flailed to the ground).  Guess what?  The only thing my foot could fit into was an UGG or a flipflop.  In November.  And so a hypocrite died convert was born.

However UGG + Bedazzler = disaster.  Throw in some fringe and it's a disaster duo.  Or is that trio?  I'm so baffled!!  Undoubtedly we will see the Hollywood wallets strolling in their jeweled UGG's (that will be "gifted"), but I will not be swayed.  Not even when they're marked down to $34.99 will I be donning a pair of these.  However if you stare at them long enough you actually start to consider it.  Step away from the Mandah.  Or I'll call Nancy Grace to unleash the lawyers!!  She is all about preventing crime before it occurs!!