Friday, September 10, 2010

Pardon Me While I Lose My Mind

Suffice it to say this is not the post I had planned.  It is currently 10:40pm, I am barely completing my work day *yeah.  get there.  because I know I haven't*, and feel as though I could spontaneously combust at any moment.   Given my frazzled mood I've decided to go completely off the edge and match my current state of mind to a set of pictures we took while visiting Canada.  Next week posts will go back to normal.  Until then buckle up because you're about to take a trip to crazyville!!

Even if you've only been reading a week you know I grew up on the Prairies in Canada.  While visiting my brother and his family last week we ended up at some mall (Alberta = home of the mall) where on one end was a line outside of Coach that had to have at least 100 people in it, while maybe 200 yards *okay metres* away stood the biggest outdoorsy retailer that took the slogan "bringing the outdoors in" to a whole new level.  Tape your jaw shut and come along - it was only 150,000 sq. ft!  And yes that was 4 zeros, not 3.

 Need to practice your shooting skills? 
Grab a coffee and a gun and come on over.  
Eeps!!
What was that?  You meant fishing?  Oh, okay.  
Just turn around and you're all set.
Hip waders extra.
Take notice of the stuffed polar bear on your upper left.
I tried to jump on it, but the mob wouldn't let up to give me a shot.
Hope you have eyes in the back of your head or that bear 
might eat you.
Don't worry the guy in the tree's got your back.
He'll bow and arrow it while you grab a change of clothes.
Meanwhile over at the fish tank new friendships are being forged.
I'm just trying to get my loved ones out in one piece.
Look out! Wolves!!
What was that?  A plane's going to fly into my head??
Not before these things try to bite my leg off.
(Thankfully my cheetah print top doubled as camo gear...when in Rome people)
"Don't move," he hissed "bear on your right."
Jesus take the wheel.  Is this over yet?
Niece to the rescue!!  Oops price tag issues!  No dice!!
And then I ran off screaming into broad daylight!!

You still with me?  This place was packed to the gills with Americans and Canadians who had driven for MILES to take it in.  We're talking mountain climbing equipment, boats, fishing gear, coffee cups, ear plugs, hunting paraphernalia *let's not get into a crazy debate mmmmkay?*,  winter gloves, camo sweats (which I almost purchased don't judge), rubber boots for subzero temps, tents galore, all terrain vehicles that cost as much as my car, and so much more.  It's all a blur.  A 150,000 sq. ft blur.  I vaguely recall some dimwit trying to tell me he was going to "pay cash" for some cruiser boat thing that was over $50K.  To which the smart aleck in me replied, "Why don't you just pay $240/month for the next 25 years like the sign suggests?" before shooting him a dirty and stomping offHehe.  Not impressed buddy!

I was not in LA Toto!

These pictures are the perfect summary to an absolutely hellish return to reality.  Next week I will try to come back to la-la land or at least a brighter version of reality including daily posts.  Imagine that.  In the meantime thank you to everyone who has stuck with my blog while I've been away.  I appreciate your support and look forward to catching up with all of you.  

Have a terrific weekend everyone.  Yippppeeeeeeee!!

80 comments:

Katie said...

Jesus take the wheel. Is this over yet? <--- Annnd I died.

I need a nap and a bitch slap as well. Well, its 3:35 so I guess I could go to bed but that's just logical. It's one of those days, isn't it? Let's hide out and hope it gets better. Deal?

Fashion, Art and other fancies said...

LOL - "Hellish return to reality" -- This is hilarious indeed!

Beauty H2T said...

love it! looks too much fun :) hope you are really well lady. Sorry not checked in for so long xx

Laura said...

hahahaha... oh the good outdoors and .. well, that place is INTENSE! Glad you made it through that visit there to tell about it. hehe

A Lot Like Fashion said...

Hahahaha! The 'mall' trip looks like quite an adventure~! The captions to the pictures are so darn funny :)
http://fortheloveoffashionandotherthings.blogspot.com

Collette Osuna said...

LOVE your outfit....super cool sweater...love the slouchiness:)

Happy Friday!!

Statements in Fashion

Diana Mieczan said...

hahaha...That was an adventure for sure...I love those photos!!!
Kisses,sweetie
Have a wonderful and relaxing weekend:)

Bren said...

OMG...it looks like one of those huge BASS store monstrosities! Such a guy place! Glad you made it out alive! :)

xoxo,
Bren @ Chasing Beauty

Georgia said...

americans and canadians are mad. We went to America and were literally like :OOOOOOOOOOOO omg you can buy a gun in a supermarket wtf!!!!!!! and all these americans were looking at us like "errrrr yeah of course you can buy a gun in a supermarket why wouldn't you be able to". Like it was the most logical thing in the world.


xx

Style Attic said...

At least you make losing your mind stylish! I kept thinking, the pictures of me in the scenarios would not be a good thing...you pull it off well! Way to embrace life, guns, bears, bows and all!!

Phuong said...

great photos!

Closet Fashionista said...

Haha, that looks like a wild time!! And oyyy on being at work so late :(
http://aclosetfashionista.blogspot.com/

Vic said...

funny

enjoy the weekend

Danielle (elleinadspir) said...

We have a very similar store here. People view it as a 'destination' and come from all over. I refuse to enter it. Too much for me'!

Eden said...

Nice photos!Looks like you had much fun:)))
comment and follow if u like http://rayabo.blogspot.com/

Ren- Lady Of The Arts said...

We lived in Detroit while my hubs was doing his residency and I have to say that place it crazyville with hunting- I can't count how many times I filled up my gas tank next to a DEAD animal on someones car roof.

Crazy... dead animals

Lori said...

Well nice to hear that you are home safe and sound! Where in the hell is this place ~ I am thinking West Edmonton Mall??!! Holy crap ~ it looks like LL Bean on steroids! Your niece is adorable btw. Have a wonderful week-end girlie. xo

Sonja said...

AHahaha! This would make a great picture(photo) story book about wildlife.

sophiasa said...

Lol, you're so funny! So glad you're back=)
Those pics made me homesick. That store looks like the Bass Pro Shop near where I grew up in MI. Rifle in one hand, fishing pole in the other *sigh*

Staley Mc said...

We have a shop like that here, it's so funny I think! Love your outfit! Hope you have a great weekend!

Nikki said...

omg Carrie, I LOVE your expression in these pictures!!!!!
I cant believe this place exists! wolves?!?!

Hope you have a wonderful weekend back at home!

xx
Nikki

Daniela said...

HAHAHAHAHAh your response to the guy is GENIUS ahahahahahha poor guy. Laughed out loud but I kind feel bad for him.... :/ ahaha

I've been to a place like this..in Kittery Maine - I think that's how u spell it. Its full of outlet malls and then this huge place full of hunting stuff. Our "friends" invited us to these malls and then wanted to go get good socks or something. Needless to say, we left early, saying that I wasn't feeling well.

Cafe Fashionista said...

I love you, I love you, I love you! This is precisely how I feel whenever I enter Sporting Equipment stores. Seriously, why are we getting excited over Motocross gear and boating equipment - lets go look at shoes! Ohmigosh I cannot believe you survived this...emporium of horrors! :P

Rachel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rachel said...

Hahahaha! Wow. I guess I should be glad this kind of stuff doesn't go on at the malls near me. Lol.

Love your cheetah print top!

Deanna Pai said...

a) I'm so depressed that the J. Crew jacket was that expensive. Salt on the wound was my mother saying that it's not even cute. Which it so is.

b) That looks AWFUL. I would curl up and cry.

c) I wonder how much the bow-and-arrow guy in the tree gets paid.

Josie said...

I love how you have this whole post on a wilderness store and I immediately focus on your bag. Is it Foley + Corinna? LOVE IT. This looks like quite the place. Okay, so it's my personal version of misery -- I'm not exactly Nature Girl. But it looks like you all had fun! Love the photo at the fish tank!
xo Josie
http://winksmilestyle.blogspot.com

Carrie said...

Josie I almost grabbed a fake gun and killed myself. Think: hell on earth.

And the perfect way to end my sporadic week of posts!!

Back to "normal" next week :)

Brianna said...

Ha, you make me laugh! I loved the story.

I'm also doing a giveaway so if youre interested, make sure you enter :)

Half Dressed said...

Lol great post :)And great pictures the animals look so cool, though I have to say the fish were my fave :)

L x

the chirpy bird said...

omg you kill me! as you were commenting on my blog I was reading yours... Jesus take the wheel.. ahahahaha love your leopard top by the way!
xo tash

Jessica said...

Whoa ...

That's all I have to say. Just whoa ...

And welcome back, doll face!

style'n said...

ok despite all that you manage to always look beautiful and oh so stylish Carrie! Hope you have a great weekend and let's hope things settle down a bit.
naina

this free bird said...

The guy in the tree is a plastic guy. A plastic guy!!

I'm still having nightmares.

Sara Szatmary said...

Haha. Love it-- especially the boots!

Annie said...

oh my gosh, Carrie these pictures are so fun and hilarious! Never seen anything like it...NEVER.

Have a great, hopefully relaxing, weekend!! xo

THE ALTERNATIVE WIFE said...

Hahaha glad u made it out alive, sweetie! Have a fun & relaxing weekend! xoxo

Marie Z. said...

Oh My. Where the heck is this??? Calgary? Only in Alberta....

Have a great weekend!

Valerie said...

Oh my gosh, a shootn' range AND fishing all in one place? This place is CRAZY! Isn't it the worst to come back from a fabulous vacation only to have piles of work/e-mails/responsibilities waiting for you?? I'm sorry, ugh. I hope this weekend is better for you and you get some rest! I'm in the process of responding to your e-mail. Will probably finish it when I leave work later today. So glad it's friday.

xo
Valerie

~Decidedly Imperfect~ said...

We're purse twinkies! I have the same exact AC City Tote. I can fit my entire life in it!

Cute post!

Daisy said...

Well this place looks intense! You niece looks adorable. Glad you has a nice time up there in the praries!

Bella *Bellgetsreal said...

I don't think my husband would even know what to do there. Crazy!

Funny post.

christine, just bella said...

oh my gosh, I've been there!! and couldn't get out of there faster, so bizarre!

sophiasa said...

Hello dear, me again:) you've got a blog award waiting for you on my blog=) xoxo

Krystal said...

oh my gosh, only you could make a trip to one of those stores hilarious like this :) 'jesus take the wheel' was my FAVE! have a lovely weekend lady. i'm still in crazy i have visitors until the end of time my life is not my own land.
xo

this free bird said...

omg krystal i'm ready to snap. this has been the gongshow week to end all gongshows. hang in there sister!! we'll catch up on the flipside.

xoxo,
c

Romantico said...

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Leave me a comment so that I know you're following me. After i read the comment and see your picture, i'll go to your blog and follow.

http://lovers-shore.blogspot.com/

Ms. Emily Ann said...

Oh my goodness!! I am glad you made it out alive... I wouldn't have lasted ten minutes!! And too funny about the guy trying to pay 50 grand cash... But you did get some great pics as least ~ There's no place like home, there's no place like home... :)

Panda said...

Holey huge shop! i wouldnt even know what to do in there, but i know some people that would just LOVE it!

HC! said...

i love love your cheetah print top. it's absolutely perfect.
thanks for stopping by my blog. i hope you enjoy going the distance if you decided to go see it. stop by again sometime :)
Haute Californian

Stacey said...

Whoa!Quite an adventure and your descriptions had me actually laughing out loud-hilarious! You really have a great sense of humor. Happy weekend! xx

Jess said...

This is absolutely redic!!! Semi-insane, yet also impressive! haha

xo

p.s. LOVE your bag - where did you get it?!

Corrine/Frock And Roll said...

I hope you had a great weekend! :) Enjoy and allow yourself the bliss of doing nothing (or at least, trying to!) for the next few days - it's the only remedy for sanity after returning from a break!

Jenn from Much to My Delight said...

Whoa. This place looks whackadoo. But fun; your little girl must have loved it (she's super cute by the way)! Thanks for stopping by my blog; I look forward to following yours!

annelise said...

Christ Almighty, Carrie. I don't think I could have stopped myself from grabbing one of those guns, those kind of places make me manical. Glad you made it out alive.

Poppies and Sunshine said...

Wow, I have never seen such a place! Quite the opposite from southern cali!
What an experience that would be too see all of that!
Have a great weekend, Carrie!

Lady Grey said...

oh my that place looks intense!!!
Hope you have a relaxing weekend : )
oxo

Sofia said...

здорово))!!!

Heather {A Measure Of...} said...

Welcome back, amiga! This is so hilarious! My dad is from Illinois and currently lives Northern Wisconsin (might as well be Canada), often 20 below 0 temps, where all the kiddies get a week off school when deer hunting season starts. When I visit and want to go out for a walk, I cannot leave their woodsy house without wearing bright orange... Oh, I'm sure you know all about this!

Anyhoo good to have you back! Hope you have a lovely weekend and start feeling caught up soon!

LyddieGal said...

What an insane store. You can really fish in there?? People actually buy that stuff? Going in and taking photos and poking fun is one thing, but honestly enjoying it? Maybe somethings I was never meant to understand.

Hope you have a lovely relaxing weekend!!

Chic on the Cheap

Mimi said...

these pictures are amazing! i hope you have a wonderful weekend! :D

<3, Mimi
http://whatmimiwrites.blogspot.com/

Join the Gossip said...

Looks like you had fun! The company I work for put on events across Canada and everyone always talks about the mall! I've never been though.

Sorry about work, seems to be a crappy week for everyone work-wise :(

The Owl's Closet said...

Oh man, what a long work day!:( Hope you get some rest soon! Wowsers, that's one crazy store! Such a cool concept! Thanks for sharing ur pics:)

TheOwlsCloset.blogspot.com

Sophia (my visual illusions) said...

Sounds like you had fun!

Madison's Assortment said...

Looks like a fun day!
xo

Adele said...

I love this! Looks like so much fun! Hope you had a great time!

Adele – http://moltocuriosa.com

Regan said...

Wow, looks fun!

JSotiriou said...

ahahahah your pictures are so funny and cute :D

Style, She Wrote said...

Great pictures and story. Love your outfit.

Mary Ann said...

hello carrie! I recognize this men's cave. I went to one near San Francisco. There was one thing I found I like, a stuffed animal for my gretchie (maltese poodle). still hoping someone will take me out camping. except my brother in-law, everybody hates camping in our family. hope you are enjoying your weekend! verbena cottage

Kerri said...

very funny!!!

Jammer said...

hahaha that place is literally a zoo! You should've reminded that guy that it's really hard to drive a boat through a lake covered with ice. :)

Isabel said...

love the sweater!

ryan said...

Hilarious! I was laughing reading this

Ashley [Free Honey] said...

omg, that is ridiculous. I kind of love it tho. That is literally a mall like no other.

Miss Caitlin S. said...

once again- your perfect ponytail makes me swoon!!!!! hahah this looks fun oddly enough, even though it's all very kitschy. Nothing like immersing yourself in the culture. I love that people drove so far to get to this magical land :)

agnes said...

très jolies photos.....

sssdawna said...

looks like you have fun : ) thanks for taking us along with you! i'd like to go there just once...

Dawn said...

hehe....totally get the pictures as my boys live in that exact same store.:( :)
Sounds like you had quite the adventures while here in the good ol prairies....
(Do you ALWAYS look so good everywhere you go...even Bass Pro!!!!)
jeesh...i need your style!!!! :)

happy day to ya,
dawn:)

Ms. Givens said...

We have a free standing store like that 2 miles from our house. It's called Bass Pro Shop. People come from all over to go there. Ben & Jen were there a few weeks ago. I hate it cause I drive past it to and from work and people loose their freakin minds while driving right there. I almost get hit every day. No joke.

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