Monday, August 9, 2010

Are You There God? It's Me, Crisis.

I learned two things this weekend:  cookies and ice cream are not a well-balanced meal, and I need more closet space very badly. 

Okay forget it.  I learned a lot of things about myself this weekend and have come to the conclusion that I'm having some sort of breakdown.  (Don't call the authorities just yet...I'll let you know when I need the pills.  hehe) The older I get, the more I notice this pattern emerge as my birthday month draws closer.  I'm an August baby and I wonder if that makes it worse?  August is the close of summer - one of the best and free-est times of the year - and I really am a free spirit in the truest sense, so summer is a time when I feel very much like me. However August also marks the beginning of the school year - a time to get serious and dig in.  Even though I'm no longer enrolled, I endured years of education and it is now instinct as fall grows closer...fun is over (even with all the boots and sweaters and layers and wait a second am I feeling slightly better??)  You all know I've been going off about summer being basically a no-show this year in Southern California.  Today was a warm day, but by late afternoon it was most definitely time to don a jacket or sweater yet again.  When I threw something over my shoulders as we were leaving the beach, I could feel the knot in my stomach grow tighter.

It's almost over - the summer and this year of my life.  And somehow I feel robbed.  Of warm days and nights and a sweltering heat I had actually looked forward to for the first time in years.  Sigh.  Somehow I feel like I'm leaving a piece of me behind.  Sigh again.

I think this latest string of melancholy started when I saw this come in the mail on Friday:

Can you see that?  I'm sure most of you know what it is....
For some reason I thought it was junk mail...too much going on right now, I guess.
Then I flipped it over and saw who it was from.
If you have an Anthropologie card you get a little something 
from them to use for your birthday.  
I must confess the "Especially For" really warmed my heart.
Everyone wants to feel special on their birthday.  Or just in general.
This year the card is extra cute.  It has a little necklace with a candle on it.
I guess I should be grateful that it's not that warm in SoCal 
or my candle could have melted.
Every cloud really does have a silver lining. :)

Anyway, the next thing you knew I was baking cookies at midnight and back in line at Coldstone for the Key To My Heart Key Lime ice cream extravaganza.  Yikes!

Please get ready for my annual existential crisis, dear readers.  It happens without fail every year either around this time or at the holidays - and sometimes both.  Existential crisis:  a stage of development at which an individual questions the very foundations of his or her life: whether their life has any meaning, purpose or value. (Wikipedia).

Prepare to watch it unfold amidst internal conflict and semi-schizophrenic behavior as I go back and forth between "ooooooh must have this" and "i gotta give everything away and keep 5 things because people are starving".  Not to worry - both these sides are alive and well within my being and, in all seriousness, I actually think it's healthy and allows me to keep a proper perspective/balance on living well, being a consumer and giving to others.

So all that being said (and thank you for bearing with me) let the internal mayhem begin....or is that continue?  I've been giving the current Anthro catalog the once over and am about the peruse their website.  Phase one here I come!!

Do any of you experience mixed emotions around your birthday?  How do you handle it?  Please don't say ice cream because I'm to the brim!  har! kinda...

Oh, and how was the weekend?

84 comments:

Claire Kiefer said...

Awwww, I'm an August child too. :) And I've also noticed the chilly California summer, cause as you can imagine, it's been colder up in the bay area! When is your August bday?? Mine is the 16th . . . aka the first day of school (seriously???). Mini crises are totally common around the birthday--every year, as mine approaches, I start questioning if I'm where I "should" be in life right now, etc. But it will go away a couple weeks into September, haha. As for the ice cream--GO FOR IT! Life is short.

this free bird said...

oh claire - so glad to know i'm not alone...what is this nonsense about the first day of school being ON your birthday. that ain't right (have room in your class for an english major who seems to use the word ain't with even more frequency post education? hehe)

my problem is i LIKE where i'm at...i don't wanna move on! someone stop the bus. i want off!! with my new boots on...

xoxo,
carrie

Katie said...

The discounts you get for your birthday are probably my favorite part. And the birthday shopping I guilt Jared into which basically amounts to him taking me to Saks, throwing his hands up in the air and saying "Don't do too much damage". It's fun for everyone!

The ice cream seems like a good plan too, though :)

Claire Kiefer said...

When's your bday when's your bday???
And I'm a fellow English major who thinks there are plenty of appropriate times to both use ain't and start sentences with conjunctions. :)

Diana Mieczan said...

I am an August baby too...My birthday is on Wed....Its so funny that all three of us are August babies:)

Happy Birthday month to all of us!!!

Btw: sweetie...Loved your comment today...Wow..you do have many shoes...hahah:)

Indie.Tea said...

Oddly enough, I feel a bit mopey and unsatisfied myself. Not sure why...my birthday is in the end of winter...at a time when all the stores are carrying Christmas leftovers and so the presents suck...but I'm sure you'll be able to find something delightful with that Anthropologie card!

She Wore It Well said...

yes totally, the month before my bday is excruciating!

and stop being mean and email me your address so i can post your bday gift, pretty please.

lots of virtual love, hugs and kisses my dear

~M
xxx

Simone said...

What a great post, I loved reading it.

I think life as you get older becomes one continual existential crisis.....which is probably not what you want to hear LOL!! I don't have crises around my birthday but I am continually wondering what next and how can I take myself "to the next level" and accomplish more....and I'm married with children!! But I focus on seeing this as a positive thing.

I like that you are happy right now though with where you are. My 4 yr son (who is my question-asker) has been obsessed with becoming a teenager (as then is clearly when he has figured out life starts to happen!)....watched a teenager skateboarding past us today and suddenly said he just wanted to stay "little" forever!! Sometimes life does seem just fine where you are right now.

I know what you mean about summer being over and the thing of Aug/Sept and term starting.....I have that all over again now with my children going to school....and I can't even tell you how school seems to just speed up time.....another year gone, ugh!!

I haven't helped you at all but I do get what you are saying, just wanted to say that :)

Am with you on the ice-cream thing too ;)

Happy Monday honey :)

Leia said...

I'm an August baby too! I have mixed feelings about my birthday every year but I don't think it has to do with getting older (just yet... this year I'm turning 22 but in a few years when I'm closing in on 30 I'm sure I'll start to feel the same way!) I think my feelings have to do with the fact that I could never celebrate with my friends at school because were always still on our summer holidays, and my family isn't really big on birthday celebrations - we just have a meal out and a cake. That's all very nice, but the lack of presents makes me feel a bit unloved on my birthday! Haha! I suppose that's not really fair of me, because my parents are really generous and give me presents all throughout the year, and if I ASK for something they'll give it to me, it's just that they're not proactive about it.

Aaaanyway, I'm glad you had something to brighten up your day! And happy birthday in advance! Sorry I don't have any advice on how to perk yourself up; I say, spend some time with loved ones, write down a list of all the things you can do know that you couldn't do when you were 16 (to see how much wiser you are!) and spend a whole day volunteering at an animal shelter or old people's home or orphanage just because. :)

E-mail coming atcha in a second about my degree. xo

Leia

style'n said...

Oh I enjoyed reading your post and sometimes I feel the same way (even though my birthday is in May). I jut get depressed thinking about winter in Boston.
But, I love getting that birthday discount card from Anthro and hopefully a quick stop there for a fabulous item will help right?
and I want to hear more about this degree????
naina

Kim@Chattafabulous said...

My bday is in mid January and sometimes feels like an afterthought after all of the holidays. Also a middle child, so I'm used to feeling like an afterthought :) Happy, happy birthday!

Connie @ SogniESorrisi said...

When I turned twenty I cried. I don't want to know what thirty is going to feel like!

Danielle (elleinadspir) said...

I go through the same feelings...but for me it's usually 4 times a year. The change of the seasons sets it off I guess. I grew up in CA where the seasons just bleed together, but here in OK they are distinct. Not sure what it is, but each changes makes me go through all of the 'what ifs' and 'i wonders'. So...you are not alone!

Cool Gal said...

I loved your post (By the way, it was 95 degrees here yesterday and humid as hell. Going to be this way all week! While I love the hot weather, this really gets old. Too hot to do much of anything. Remember my running post? The crisp California sounds good about right now.).

I must admit, I don't like my birthday anymore. Sorry, that probably won't cheer you up! I guess it's because I can see my life passing before my eyes. My child will be out of the house in a few years which really, really makes me sad. Then I will be stuck with the mister. Just what the hell are we going to do? Hahahaha.... It all goes by so fast!

Chin up, my friend. At least you have birthdays to celebrate. It could be a lot worse! :)

Nikki said...

Happy Birthday Love!
Every year I feel like the coming year wont be as good as the last, but it's never the case. I think it's the build-up of it all. I hope you have a wonderful birthday and buy yourself something fab at anthro.

xx
Nikki

Closet Fashionista said...

Oooh thats so cute!! Makes me want an Anthro card, haha
And yea, I know what you mean...birthdays are good and bad for me...mine isnt for 2 more months though, haha
http://aclosetfashionista.blogspot.com/

Staley Mc said...

So exciting to find that in the mail! I had mixed emotions around my birthday too, I was kind of excited and kind of not. I think it's the getting older thing maybe I don't know!

Helena from BrooklynBlonde said...

Awww, firstly, happy birthday! I totally know how you feel! For me, anytime I have a birthday celebration with friends or family, the next day, without fail, I get extremely depressed. I don't know if it's because the celebration is over and another year came and went, but I usually cheer up a few days after my birthday.

Abby said...

I'm 17, so I look forward to birthdays and when I can join the adult word, etc etc etc. But then I'm pretty sure that when I approach 25 I will start to panic. Eek! I can't imagine being 25! I want to be 20 forever!

happy birthday!

Half Dressed said...

Firstly Happy Birthday :) And I know what you mean I've never been a fan of birthdays mostly because mins a month before Christmas so I always feel like 'sod the birthday lets think about the festivities' :)

L x

Half Dressed

Kristin W said...

Yay August birthdays :) I need to get an Anthro card so I can get an adorable happy birthday present from them too! You'll make it through the crisis...and we'll all be here to empathize, relate, and support you :)

Stacey said...

I love those birthday discount cards too. Yes, the packaging does make one feel special, doesn't it? Happy Birthday when it comes. I'm sure i'll be saying that again on the day of your b'day:-).

alli/hooray said...

Aw, I understand your birthday dread. although that card from anthro would make anyone's day! btw, my friend + I shared the Key to my Heart this weekend too - very refreshing :)

OneCraftyFox said...

Sorry you are feeling all out of sorts. I think I'm pretty OK about my birthdays. But I know that my boyfriend always makes it special for me so I really look forward to it :)

The Anthro card is too cute, you'll feel much better when you buy yourself something pretty, lol!

Hope you have a fabulous birthday, Sweetie!

Nicole said...

I totally know what you mean when you say that you feel robbed. I'm an August baby too & in fact, I just celebrated my birthday this past week. Though I'm tremendously thankful for my friends and family that celebrated my birthday with me (2 days early), I hated the actual DAY. I had to say goodbye to my boyfriend again (for another 4 months). We see each other about 4-5 weeks of the year. It's tremendously difficult when I realize that another year has passed and we barely got to hang out. We didn't get to do any of the "boring things' together. Everything had to be big (and I don't like that). I feel like we always have to "steal time."

Keep on keeping on, girl! My boyfriend always reminds me that though we close the door to summer afternoons on the porch, morning runs on the beach, or spontaneous ice-cream trips in the evenings, we're opening the door to a new season... a new season with new, exciting things to do!

Brianna said...

I have mixed feelings about my birthday too. I think I have cried on every single birthday I've had for the last five years (usually because someone ruins my day). But I'm going to try to make this year a really good one and I hope you do too!!!

the chirpy bird said...

I love Anthro! I also love that free lil pressie you get every year!
Birthday's are a toughy for a lot of people, embrace your late night cold stone treats! You are fabulous and free and birthday numbers and seasons will never take that away! You're a darling free little bird that is loved by so many!
xo tash

Jess said...

Happy Birthday( either early or belated!) Cheer up! At least we still have birthdays!! Which is how I would rather look at it!! I cannot get over how cool it has been in your part of the world! Here in KY it has been MISERABLY hot...I am looking forward to falls arrival!! Today is going to be 90!! Sheesh......

Krista said...

Birthday weekend is approaching!! YAY!! You shouldn't be sad, it's great over here, on the other side! You have Chef AND an ebelskiver pan, what else do you need?

WALK THE SAND said...

Hi Carrie!

CONGRATULATIONS you've won my giveaway!!!

I've sent you an email with details.
Hope you had a great weekend
xxx

ruthy ann said...

i totally feel you. i've felt this way until last year when i got married. this birthday, even though i was sick wasn't filled with all the emotion and anxiety. but ice cream, in my opinion helps with everything :)

Anna Jane said...

After you turn 21, birthdays really aren't that fun anymore. It's just not as exciting once you aren't in college because you know you're life will never be as carefree as it once was (even if you are super happy).

But, as we're older, we appreciate the little things more (like an anthro 15% off coupon). :)

xx anna jane

Emz said...

I'm with you on the closet space!!! but . . .
. . . must disagree . . cookies and ice cream are CERTAINLY make for a well-balanced meal. ;)

Daniela said...

I gotta say..after turning 26 I've been more worried about time - but not because I'm getting older, but that there are a trillion things I'm doing and must do. Things that make me happy. Then I get upset because there are things that I can't avoid doing (like work, even though right now I hate my job) that take up my precious time.

Valerie said...

Carrie, I felt the exact same way about my birthday this year. But that Anthro necklace totally perked me up a bit (for a minute). I'm not sure how I dealt with it other than trying to get over it and enjoy the celebrations. :) I'm sure it doesn't help that this was the coldest summer ever. I also feel like we've been robbed about that.

xo
Valerie

DT ~ RDH said...

Are u feeling the love? wow!! :D

Happy Birthday! My daughter is an aug babe and I love her!! so August is sad for me because i dont want her to grow up!! sniffle sniffle! (esp this year, bc she starts Kindergarten!! booohooo!)
Is it the end of summer alone, or the climbing digits that is a bummer to you?
My bday is in March, and I am DANGEROUSLY close to 40, but I am rocking the hell on. When i was in my 20s i did sometimes cry around my bday, feeling like i was somehow "wasting" my youth and my life...okay then I realized that the crying part was the real wasted time! 30 was a bit scary, but then I decided that I would define myself at all ages, not anyone else. My husb is about 5 years younger, and at first that made me feel weird. but no longer. Most folks are shocked when I mention my age - they say I look and seem 10 years younger!! Happens all the time ~ thanks to momma for the asian skin, and thanks to the universe for making me a gleeful girl... sorry about the novella here ~ Have a wonderful week! Keep laughing! xoxo

Vic said...

My baby's birthday was the 4th...{like you care, right} I wanted her in June like the rest of us but apparently she didn't want any part of us:) Might I just add that Cold Stone is the shizzle...in our neck of the woods anyway:)

xoxo

Marie Z. said...

I'm really not looking forward to my birthday this year because I will be turning the big three zero and I honestly don't know where my twenties went! They flew by so fast. I'm not looking forward to aging either ; ) I'm trying desperately to change my attitude about my upcoming birthday but I've been failing miserably. You and I can wallow together ; ) I hope you feel better and hope you get some nice weather asap!

xoxo

Bella *Bellgetsreal said...

Happy Birthday.

My 40th is coming and I am feeling somewhat okay about it. I set a few goals to achieve prior to my day and working on them has kept my mind in the right place. Also I realized that your only as old as you feel so you should run around, have a sleepover with pj, and eat pizza all night.

Heather {A Measure Of...} said...

I get the odd existential crisis every once in a while. And boy oh boy, let me tell you, this winter has not helped at all!

I think the best way to get through the crisis for me... is also to write through it. You're doing that :) Sometimes reading through it helps too. Ha! I just read that you're English major (too!) I think the crises are prerequisite numero uno, no?

My crises are always around the holidays. I weathered lots of extremely sad ones when I was a kid, so even though I want to get into the spirit with some of my friends (and I always tried when I lived in the states.. decorating and tree shopping, etc.), I always find it difficult. Ice cream helps. Supportive friends help :) Cheesecake, er, I mean exercise, helps even more!

*Hugs*

Barbara said...

i know what you are talking about because it happens the same to me... i even cry sometimes because i realise how fast time flies by and i'm really obsessed with time. I don't wanna waste it, it really gets on my nerves... so i just try to ignore that ideas in my head and treat myself a bit just to cheer me up... maybe i sound too stupid?? but i just need to think in something else instead of bearing with my existencial crisis


oh by the way! I have recently started a film project!! you can participate too if you want to :)

http://more-analog.blogspot.com/

have a lovely week!!!

xxxx

Anna Walker said...

Honestly? I freak out a little at the people around me, which I shouldn't and which I know isn't good, but it happens. I also freak out about tiny little things...My next birthday is going to be crazy, because I have to be moved out of my apartment if I don't renew my lease on my birthday!

i also agree with you when you feel like you're leaving piece behind...But look how great your new year is going to be! Another year with Chef right? :)

PhotoPuddle said...

Firstly, who told you cookies and ice cream wasn't a well balanced meal? Sounds great to me!

And totally understand your closet space problem. I don't have enough space for my clothes. I have a wardrobe full of clothes in my bedroom, and lots of drawers and I also have tons of clothes and all my shoes in my daughter's wardrobe. Trouble is she's nearly two so it won't be too long before she actually wants that space for her own things. Where the hell am I going to keep my shoes?!!! And the rest of my clothes?!!

And sorry you are feel down about your birthday. So far I've not really had a birthday crisis. However, I am getting far too far into my 30s now for my liking so I'm think in the next couple of years I will probably completely freak out.

Kristin said...

I usually have a...what have I accomplished crisis...around my bday. Bubbly helps!

Teresa said...

It's always lovely when you get something in the mail that is not junk. I love packages! I'm currently hosting an exchange at my blog, if you're interested!

Btw, I really hope you're not feeling sad anymore! Don't be sad, be glad! :)

♥ Teresa ♥

Orphaned Apparel said...

(In case I miss it, happy birthday!)

It's too bad we didn't house swap this summer or something, because this is the year I officially realized that I have no use for summer. With its sweltering heat, sweaty clothes, mosquitoes ... it can pack up and leave for all I care. I have a new appreciate for winter, and it's always been my least favorite season. Until now.

A said...

i got the same thing for my birthday, but unfortunately for me i never had a chance to make it there to use my discount! plus the candle broke in the mail :\

Jess said...

I'm right there with you, girl! In the past, my birthday was my absolute favorite holiday. But now - turning 26 last March - I started to feel a little different. I'm actually starting to feel a little old (I never thought that was possible before!) I'm happy where I am and just don't want life to pass me by too quickly!!

Happy Birthday, Carrie and hope you find a way to enjoy it! (Anthro shopping certainly does help, doesn't it?!)

laurenne said...

YES! We are twins. No joke. We kinda even look alike. And I feel like I completely lost this whole year. I am cringing a lot lately at every reference of 'End of Season.' We didn't even get the beginning. I'm freezing right now.

Make a list of things you've accomplished this year. You'll feel better because I guarantee it's long. That sweater dress is a pretty big one.

Taylor said...

Another year passing...as we get older, it makes me cringe sometimes! I think that is something we are trained to do, however. Why do we fear being older...I don't know it is something we will ever find out! I TOTALLY know what you mean about the summer ending, and fall beginning...the school thing...ah! It is so ominous sometimes, however it is only what I make of it. I plan on becoming a teacher and I often wonder, will I be bummed out at the end of every summer for the rest of my life? I certainly don't want to be...so I will try not to! Carrie, I hope you truly enjoy your birthday...remember, you're a free bird! :)

Taj Acosta said...

You are so cute, are you kidding, I think I have always gone thru this until the past year! I finally decided to stop letting age and my conception of it be negative or sad. Instead feel more beautiful and wise, and be a trailblazer of sorts for feeling awesome around this day. Every gal I know is sad on her b-day. Is something wrong with that pic or is it just me? I love the correlation you make with summer though, I agonize over it as well. So having your b-day be so close to it is understandable. Although I think I am aging backwards like Benjamin botton! I've always been an old soul, and so I feel just wonderful right now. I hope for you that this year, you will feel just wonderful too :) hugs

Krystal said...

yes, fuzzies on socks!!!! AND you just reminded me that my friends brought these slipper things from the states for me with red fuzzies on the back (i wonder if it was a joke?)
so anyway...every year on my bday I end up balled in a heap crying my eyes out while mark tries to soothe me. it's happened for the past 4 years so really i'm just sticking to tradition..but it's 3 days before christmas, i'm stressed, i have a million families to visit, i'm a last minute shopper and I WANT TO BE A PRINCESS ON MY BDAY! but i can't and it always sucks :( and i don't want to be older too and (i should really just be emailing you) - and i could have written what you wrote about summer ending because i'm so sad too. ok...sorry, i wrote a book.

Orphaned Apparel said...

In response to your response to my response...

That actually happened about 10 years ago. Had a horrible ice storm and a tree limb took our power line down. The outage was so widespread that we didn't get electricity restored for a couple weeks! We had to move in with family until it was fixed. I guess that does put the summer heat into perspective. lol. I just wish we had mellow weather here in Missouri. We barely ever get any spring or autumn weather. It jumps from winter to summer without barely acknowledging my two favorite seasons. I need to move to a different area!

SweetHome said...

I'm glad you got yours in time!! I got mine 2 days from my bday :( :( and live 5 or more hours away from anthro.

Debby said...

Anthro really does make everything better. I have been dreading birthdays ever since my 40th bday. I always hear my sister's voice in my head... when she turned 40 she said... and I quote... "Well, I'm 40, that means my life is 1/2 over and the good part is done." She's a glass 1/2 empty sort of girl! xo

Jessica said...

Carrie, I'm so glad that I'm back to high-speed Internet. I can't even tell you how much I missed your posts!

I definitely had an existential panic this year when I realized that in three short years, I'd be 30 (where's my house? my savings? my dog? my perfect 2.5 kids?!). Thank goodness that passed after identifying what actually brings me happiness: experiences. It was just a nice, enlightening moment that made another year seem more optimistic.

hélène said...

What a cute little card! You're right, every cloud DOES have a silver lining :)

Lovely B. said...

Happy upcoming Birthday! Hope you do something wonderful to celebrate and ease the pain of turning one year older :) I was exploring Georgetown today and came across the largest Anthropologie ever! Have a great time using that birthday discount.

Lovely B.

Jammer said...

No worries...I usually have a breakdown at work from the hours of 2-3. I feel like it's not as bad since we are aware of it haha. :D

http://jammer10am.blogspot.com/

Josie said...

I get this way around my birthday as well -- totally normal. But we're always here to listen. And can I just say that you are an amazing person? Think of how many people you've touched this year -- at the very least, your sweet comments and constant Twitter support have been such a positive thing for me! Dear girl, no one's life would be as wonderful without you in it!
xo Josie
http://winksmilestyle.blogspot.com

agnes said...

BON ANNIVERSAIRE.
J'aime beaucoup ton blog, et ton style me plait énormément

this free bird said...

Josie you are the sweetest, kindest soul (with amazing, impeccable taste as well). Thank you for your kind words!! I'm so down in the dumps and really trying to dig out!!

xoxo,
Carrie

Thank you EVERYONE. Reading your thoughts has helped so much. It's good to know others have birthday blahs as well...appreciate everything you've added today and all along the way.

LOVE,
C

this free bird said...

ps-and look at Agnes! Love the French language, style, culture...all of it!!

Ms. Pink said...

happy birthday darling. dont worry I go through this on an annual basis... <3

mp
http://www.thepinkandblueblog.com/

Ashley said...

I'm not a big birthday fan either - my family forgot mine when i turned 12 and ever since then I always feel a mix of dread and secret excitement (that maybe this will be the one that makes me love my birthday again...it never is).

But hey - you either get older or you die young. So it could be worse...right?

I think you need a cupcake. And to go shopping. At anthro.

Cheer up, buttercup!

xoxo, Ashley

riotersbloc said...

The older I get the more I feel like you described. But the funny thing is I wouldn't ever want to go back to my "youth", I love life the most at the point that I'm at. There is something about getting older that can be terrifying though. I guess because it's something that happens in the future, and the future is unknown, and the unknown is a frightening place to be.

It's not anywhere near my birthday but it is almost Ramadan (I'm Muslim) and so I've been having the same kind of schizophrenia over clothes. One part of me is planning to not buy any clothes at all for this month, and give away one item of clothing every day (at least), and give away as much money as I can. And then I see something pretty on the internet and I just want to buy it so badly, even though I might not even like it much.

Sigh.

Join the Gossip said...

I def get mixed emotions around my bday. A few days ago I celebrated my 27 - I was happy because it's my special day, yet sad because i am getting SO old! If I miss it, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

p.s. super cute card from Anthropologie!

MarchMusings said...

Firstly 'Happy Birthday Carrie'. I think the bittersweet feeling on birthdays seems to be a common thing between us- I feel like that too! And have you noticed they seem to be coming faster than usual or is it just me growing old?

kim said...

HaHa...am I supposed to feel this way only around my birthday month?!?...It happens to me at every change of season I think...plus my birthday month! In fact I'm going through it right now. I think it's the school thing. All those years really entrenched us with that dread..and hope..and new beginning; none of which really exist in the working world! Glad I'm not the only one!

Isabella said...

Great post.so raw and honest- i love it. Don’t worry, a birthday is something to look forward to, think of it as another year in which you’ve been able to enjoy life and be happy that you are healthy and living. Might sound cheesy, but if you give someone else advice on how to deal with pre-birthday gloom, you might feel better yourself because you realize that you have to take your own advice. I’ve recently started doing this trick whenever I’m stressed out or angry or sad, where I go to a quiet place, and inhale/exhale deeply a couple of times and it really helps! Hope I helped a little.

Xx
Isabella

isabella-treschic.blogspot.com

megan at Transmission Me said...

My crisis occurs on the 364 days that are NOT my birthday and then I take that day off :) Seriously, we worry so much about how we look, what we've accomplished, etc, that sometimes we just need to say screw it and get a massage, buy $200 worth of crap from Anthro, and drive 90 down the freeway. You deserve it!!! Happy Birthday Sunshine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Poppies and Sunshine said...

My goodness, last year around my birthday I had what I like to call a mid life crisis WAY TOO EARLY! I freaked out for the first birthday ever. I don't know why. I'm not near mid life. I know I have a lot of years, but I couldn't help it. So, I understand the feeling.
On another note that card is too cute! Lucky you :) Can't wait to see what you buy!

Morning Cloak said...

That sounds like what I feel like every Sunday, but on a larger scale! and I didn't know Anthro sends you a little present on your bday - I've been a member for less than a year, so I"ll be looking forward to mine come December!

its simple love said...

I am prepared for your crisis. Bring it on. I think we have a lot in common. I have felt that "fun's over" in the air and I have been feeling more down. I am a summer girl at heart for the same reasons, the feeling of freedom. Winter means cold and restrictions. Blurg. We'll make it through. Always do! You just have to be creative.

Rachael

the red bungalow said...

Well it looks like your Anthro card couldn't have come at a more perfect time. Just remember to take a deep breath, relax, and enjoy celebrating YOU! :)

Bre @ http://theredbungalow.blogspot.com

S.I.F. said...

Awww the birthday melancholy, I know it well... especially this last few years when I've thought to myself "I can't believe I'm still not a mom". I promised myself I would not have that same moment of sadness for 28 - I have a little over 6 months to make good on that promise still! ;)

And for the record: I've got this theory that calories do not count on birthdays (or the week surrounding birthdays). I usually tell myself this on the rare drive to taco bell, but if ice cream is how you do it - go for it!

TASHA B said...

i do now that ive passed the 21 mark i know it sounds sad that im worried already but everyone around me is having a baby or moving into to their boyfs etc and im starting uni again for 4 years.
il be 26 when i finish and this somehow depresses me slightly

but then again i like to see it as id rather stop now and do what i love then get halfway down the road and be like fuck what the hell have i done to my life!!!!

thanks for this post its nice to know im not the only one with issues! ha ha :)

http://noirxxxx.blogspot.com/

shopgirl said...

Hi Carrie, thanks for your sweet comment. I'm from Vancouver but I lived in Toronto for one year (too cold) and In the UK for several years (too grey). I'm now in super sunny southern Italy. Where are you from in Canada?

I think this post is so sweet and poignant. I believe everyone generally goes through something like this at least once in their life. I, like you, used to go through it almost every. I'm a philosopher at heart, so I think that has something to do it. And like you said, it's good for the soul as long as you keep it in perspective and realize it's only a moment in time. And we all experience sadness, happiness, anger and angst, and so many other emotions that truly make us human. Which I think is fabulous. What other species can say that? Maybe dolphins? :-))

Hang in there! It all has a purpose in our lives. I, also love that you're keeping your sense of humour. It's so important. This post has definitely made me the newest follower of your blog.

Rambles with Reese

Ms Sublime said...

You aren't alone, I had a proper mope on yesterday. One of the last of the singles amongst my university set of girlfriends just got married at the weekend. I had the most amazing time and am very happy for her, but I spent most of the following day secretly crying my heart out! I absolutely put it down to getting older and having insights into life I sometmes wish I didn't have!

I feel young and free- spirited but the clock on the wall stares back at me and says 'tick tock'!

It is ok to feel like that sometimes...and if this is semi-schizophrenic behavior then Jesus Take The Wheel, I am going off to have another secret sob followed by major shopping splurge!!


xxx

Annie said...

"Internal Mayhem" - great way to put it! We definitely all feel that way at times.. for me, it's not usually around my birthday, as much as it's been around this stage of my life - just so, so much change in a few years (for good and for bad). I need more of that "free bird" spirit you have I think :) At least, you have that part down pat and are good at going with the flow. That's a great skill to have! Now I think you just need to concentrate on all the wonderful things this next season of your life will hold :)

Lacey in the City said...

Girrrrl, a birthday is such a celebration of life, not a doomsday reminder that you've got that much less of life to live! You've got to reconsider your point of view on it, because it's your day - a day to celebrate the years of fabulousness you have achieved and all of the sensational days yet to come!! Aw I wanna take you out to do a little birthday dance and celebrate August with you! xoxox

Susan said...

Hi Carrie,

OMG are we living the same life? Up and down, down an up. Got dumped on the weekend. I dont get men.

I find large doses of alcohol help me (at least I think they do) ... and a change of scenery.

sending you big virtual hugs for your birthday :)
xo
Susan

Marcie said...

Carrie,

Look at you with 80 comments!! You rock. The title of this post got me laughing. I totally get the ups and down. I've been having them lately and can't quite figure it out.

xo M

LyddieGal said...

I too am dealing with end of summer anxieties and of course, closet woes.
I know those emotions so well, teetering between keeping everything and going on a shopping spree and getting rid of everything and imagining some kind of peace with such a purge.

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