Laughter? Not Really.

Last week I was cleaning some summer pictures from the camera when I came across this one. For some reason it really bothered me and I couldn't stop looking at it. Rire aux éclats: to roar with laughter.

This summer was pretty much everything but that.

When I look at this I see someone who is tired, exhausted actually, in despair with too much on her plate and trying to keep everyone happy while forgetting how to properly administer the word NO for her own bloody good.

Remember when I got that cockamamie idea to take the summer off and read books, have bonfires at the beach, and visit a theme park? Those were the days...in my mind. Instead I applied for citizenship, studied my brains out for the test, jumped through more hoops than I knew existed, sat here helpless while my mother suffered two broken arms after a bad fall opening an entirely new can of parental worms I have been avoiding since birth, watched the DMV refuse to renew my license when my green card expired while I was in process--even though they were given all the requisite extension forms and lost them 5 times (ever try to run a business and try to survive in California without a car? uh yeah not pretty), all while working my ass off for the playground terrorizer I mentioned in what I think was the last post.

I guess it was too much for me because sometime around mid-July I looked in the mirror and realized my left eyebrow looked kind of thin. By the time I took the citizenship test in late-August it was barely there and come early September it was g-o-n-e.

It's official: I've redefined the unibrow.

Even though you can't tell in the picture, I am firing on one eyebrow and, just to reinforce it, have mentioned it three times in the past 10 seconds. It doesn't sound like much this losing your hair thing, but it's pretty jarring to have something happening to your body that you cannot control in any way whatsoever. Helpless. I tried not to give it much thought, refused to color that mother in and just went on about my business. As my niece so kindly said to me, 'You mean YOU GO OUT LIKE THAT WHERE PEOPLE CAN SEE YOU??' Um, yes dear I do. At least when I have a driver's license to take me somewhere.

I'll share some summer pics later this week and look for one that shows the brow--you know just for freaking you out's sake because Halloween is coming, after all.

In the meantime I'd like to kiss the ground and my brow, the acupuncture needles and infrared light treatments (and my acupuncturist, but I can't risk scaring her off) because my left eyebrow has grown back in just a month. The dermatologist doesn't quite know what to say about it so I keep on reminding her via screaming in her face, 'ACUPUNCTURE SAVED MY LIFE. THERE'S THIS INFRARED LIGHT THING I'M GETTING ON MY FACE AND IT GOES ZZ ZZ ZZZ. DO I LOOK ANY YOUNGER??' That last part is kind of irrelevant, but the way I see it I'm paying for the visit so I might as well get an expert opinion while I'm there.

The verdict is out on the right eyebrow which has now decided thin is in, but I think (read: hope to God Almighty) we've caught it in time. And just last week I found a big ass bald patch the size of a silver dollar on the left side of my head just by my ear.

Why am I telling you all this? Because THREE PEOPLE EMAILED to say they still follow my blog and no matter what the hell kind of nonsense I'm talking about over here they still want to read about it.  Bless you people, you have no idea how much that means to me. So here you have it: alopecia areata, how to set (or in this case forget to set) a boundary, acupuncture is akin to nectar of the gods and I've got an internal wind. How's that for something to think about?

I'm ba-aaack! (and have no sh*t clue on how this new blogger interface works.)