Dealing with people who are in the box is tough.
In the box is a scary place to be. Having a pretty narrow view, primarily out of fear, but then exercising that narrow view from a place of authority in order to try and suck others--especially those living their lives with a degree of freedom--into that box because misery loves company. If you are someone who is a free spirit then you know how your liberty disturbs people in the box.
It makes them angry.
They want to choke you with your red pants.
By not giving in to their power trips and fear tactics, you continually disprove their theory that life inside the box is where it's at and life outside the box is for 'those wingnuts'. It's scary for them. In truth, you scare them. Because the truth is, deep inside, they already hate that damn box anyway. THEY WANT OUT!
I'm dealing with a resident of boxville. Mostly I'd like to throttle this person, but now that I'm ahem of a certain age I would also like to help in, what I believe may be, the beginning of this person's journey out of boxdom. Change begins with discomfort. Instead of flipping the bird and strolling off (which may end up happening anyway), I'm trying to accept what may be my role as an agent of change.
Truth? I don't feel like it.
I'd rather wave my freedom flag and march off into the sunset. I may or may not holler over my shoulder, 'Enjoy your box!'. It would all depend on how self-righteous I was feeling that day. That last part is why I'm trying to change. Everyone deserves a hand up. And maybe there's something I need to see about myself in all this, too.
I think about it a lot. How am I conducting myself in the face of negativity? How am I safeguarding myself against feelings of bitterness? How am I fairly holding this person accountable without taking my feelings of 'WTF is wrong with you?!' out on them. It's a fine line I tell ya.
I might need another pair of colored jeans for this one. Or at least a fringe bag.
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23 comments:
We are Birds of a feather! I am going through something similar right now and would love to tell the person/persons to F$%# off but instead I think I'll put my big girl red jeans on and try your way for a change....
Oyy on annoyingness like that!! I am still in the box, but I'm halfway out...I like to think I'm not like the mean buttheads in it, haha...
I really think you should poke holes in their boxes so they get a glimpse of what the outside is like. Then maybe they'll come out on their own.
Ah....box people. I come across them often. taping them in is my usual wish, your desire to help them out is commendable.
Girl, this post comes at a time that I am dealing with a person just like that. Maybe I'll put on my red jeans now...
well u look classy doing it.
You're never too old to give someone a good throttling! Also, your awesomeness in those pants should be enough punishment for anyone...okay, that and a good throttling.
Courtney ~ http://sartorialsidelines.com
Can never get enough of the coffee bean!! :) And I have those same boots too!
Ha! I cracked up with your "resident of boxdom" statement. You're so witty. It's hard in situations where you feel like you need to reach out to someone. The thing I worked on is knowing that it's ok to have sympathy for someone and try to help them, but when it's having a negative effect on you, you have to stop.
sweet Jesus....dealing with boxdom can be one of the most frustrating things! Love the way you're approaching it though...there is a lesson in it somewhere. But should it get to be too much I fully give you permission to flip the bird and give em a swift kick in the ass.
i'm with you all the way. been having the same feeling towards a similar sitch!
Emerald green Im thinking, because people in the box are often jealous of those outside it, they want to be you but don't have the guts and so do their best to try and keep you in their perameters.
I am one that says live and let live. One foot in the box is not always a bad thing....sometimes you have to be boxed. I am naturally a bit conservative and reserved (my comfy spot) but I do as I wish and let the crazies run wild. Good luck in your situation.
Tough place to be I know ~ I choose to run around the box singing and dancing.... not really but it is tempting. I like how "chef" has become Chris to the world. xo
Preach! Some people just don't get it.
I hear ya big time on this! Dealing with a couple of those people now...some are family, some are not. It kinda makes me want to do a little more than splash hot tea on the situation, but then again hot tea would be appropriate since I always have a cup in hand...
I hope your situation gets better. Try to stay focused on the positive...giving into bitterness will just give them what they want and we don't want to stoop to their level!
Some people are afraid to leave the box......... Not me :)
I love your boots! May I ask who they are by?
Carrie, I think that your patience and saintliness must come with experience... Because I'd probably either give up on someone or tell them to pull it the heck together. Whoops. In any event, you look fabulous. I love those pants.
xo Josie
www.winksmilestyle.com
When I first read "people who are in the box," I assumed you meant people who are in prison. HA! I obviously have a one-track mind.
OMG I feel so different commenting on your blog after hanging out with you in the flesh last Friday night! My friends & I cannot stop talking about our very favorite meal of the whole trip. Star-studded review of The Corner coming right up on Yelp. Cannot thank you enough.
xoxoxoxo
Oh no! We all have had that experience, hope it's better now! Hey, at least you look super fab!!! ;)
x carlina
allergictovanilla.com
Just reading this gave me hives–those people who are so certain, so right, so BOXED just make me want to bang up on all sides of it until they come running out shrieking. But I guess that's not just me. And it is a fine line to tightwalk, but that's why you're such a lovely bird.
i want out of my box!!!! - i feel ya girl! - i always say i'm gonna do my 'own thing' but i never get around to figuring out WHAT the hell that is and HOW i am going to achieve it - i need a straight kick in the ass or something
"I'm trying to accept what may be my role as an agent of change. Truth? I don't feel like it." THAT is so true. Great post!
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