Monday, May 30, 2011

Not So Great Expectations


If you had peeled by my place this weekend you would have found me wrapped in blanket, wearing my favorite things, spending time with my cats.  It donned on me Sunday afternoon that I was having a breakdown, subconsciously attempting to comfort myself by wearing, eating and doing things that made me feel safe.  This grand revelation occurred as I watched the ending of Planes, Trains and Automobiles where Neal is on the train on the last leg of his hellacious trip home.  He's remembering all the crazy moments with Del who went from stranger, to annoying stranger, to despised annoying stranger, to endeared stranger -- and suddenly while rewinding through the events in his mind he realizes that Del has no one.  Suddenly he could hear what the circumstances had been whispering to him all along.  

What do you suppose it is about some people?  That dishonesty can reign supreme with little to no effect on them?  On Friday I had someone I've known for years decline a very good job offer with one of my favorite clients --- just days after having accepted that offer.  And it gets better (or is that worse?) after having been treated so respectfully by my client this person took their offer and waved it in the face of a company she really wanted to work with to force them to accelerate their process on the job she really wanted.  Are you disgusted yet?

Pardon me while I go gag.  I might be gone for awhile.


I am genuinely deflated by the lack of character I keep coming across in people.  Users, manipulaters, climbers, people who will align themselves with whomever they need to in order to get where they want only to then turn on those people and glom onto a new group who will help them get a little higher.  I see it every day.  I avoid these people like the plague and can pick them out a mile away.  But this time this person swore she had learned her lesson and like a fool I gave her a second chance.  I ignored the whisper and it screamed in my face. 

Well thanks to 72 hours of John Hughes movies, my weekend uniform of James Perse + ripped jeans + vintage belt, copious amounts of Vietnamese food, a taste of lemon meringue waffle sandwiches and being smothered in blanket for not nearly enough time I would like to formally announce that I am done dealing with asses.  Pardon me while I assume the position until tomorrow morning when I have to get back on the treadmill yet again.  I'm nowhere near ready. 


At the very least it happened when I had three days to recover instead of just two.  Silver lining.

50 comments:

Joyti said...

You know, James Perse long-sleeved tees are part of my lounging uniform too. LOVE them, just wish they were less expensive.
Sounds like you had a relaxing weekend :)

Lisa Lisa Lisa said...

Gah, sometimes people are so disappointing! And yes, I think it is healthy to take a weekend here and there to cozy up in the comforts of life :) I know I did all weekend too.

Closet Fashionista said...

Ugh wow...people are so ungrateful and stupid sometimes...GRR!!
I do enjoy weekends where I just laze about, even if I am a bit disappointed while doing it, ha ha
http://www.closet-fashionista.com/

this free bird said...

if you're trying to comment here and blogger won't let you pleeeeez go to the fb page and comment - would love to know if i'm the only one who goes into the fetal w/disappointment and then eats, wears and does comfort things to cope.

facebook.com/thisfreebird

i am on the verge of moving my blog to wordpress...over blogger's issues. can i get a hollar??

danielle said...

one of the best things i did happened around when i turned 25. i literally broke up with female friends that were negative/exhausting/untrustworthy/toxic. what a huge difference it made in my life for the better. that chick is an idiot.
on a positive note: happy to see you snuggled up with blanket :)

KatiePerk said...

That stinks all around. I am sorry sugar! People can be so disappointing. Your outfit is cute and I swoon at that black garden stool.

Josie said...

Oh, Carrie. Well, to begin, you look darling with Blanket. I love your James Perse tee; it looks so comfy and soft. Now. Onto the fact that some people kind of suck... Well, some people kind of suck. I'm so sorry that you were disappointed, Carrie. Lots of love to you.
xo Josie

Isabel said...

its a good thing u mentioned lemon merengue waffle sandwiches at the end of the post cause i dont remember anything i read after that.

Tracy D said...

People can be extremely disappointing..I have to believe that karma exists, otherwise it's all just too much to take sometimes. Your weekend sounded like just the medicine you needed. Hope you're feeling better about things soon :)

Kara Endres said...

holler on the wordpress. Sorry about your bad luck with mean people run-ins. It's totally ok to take a long weekend to comfort yourself before being thrust into it again. :( sorry Carrie!

Courtney Erin said...

This totally resonates with me because, at an Ivy League school, I am surrounded by so many people that I see as having little personal integrity - they aggressively lie and pretend to be friends with some people while viciously excluding a lot of others and seem to only be thinking about their "careers." I honestly find it disgusting because for me it's always about being nice to people and being loyal and genuine with your friends and letting your work speak for itself. But sometimes it's like I'm living in the movie Mean Girls. For reals. Ugh.

xoxo ~ Courtney
http://sartorialsidelines.blogspot.com

Emmett Katherine said...

It's so disappointing when people are like that, you just have to go with your gut and listen to the whisper next time. i've met people like your friend and I just question how they can go through life using and backstabbing people. better off having nice happy people in your life.

hope your reflecting time made you feel a bit better. be happy your not like that person!

~Em K

marjorie rose said...

I'm glad you had three days to recuperate and while away that disgusting feeling. I hate it too and I avoid mean, malicious people like the plague. Sometimes, though, they can disguise themselves well.. but it eventually comes out. They can't help it.

Enjoy your week! You deserve it.

Barbara von Enger said...

I'm happy you are in better spirits. I agree with you regarding malicious people - I just dealt with one such person. Chin up;-)

allison said...

Ugh! People can be so such asses, and it's so frustrating to get involved. I do the exact same thing, but I'm usually in bed watching Netflix.

Cristina said...

I find the hardest part is letting go and forgiving asses. It's taken me a looong time and I'm still struglling to forget some of the biggest asses I've ever met (who used to be friends, roommates even) but I'm convinced life will be better once I do.

ps what's going on with blogger? When I try to comment it sends me in an endless loop of trying to log in. I thought it was just me?

this free bird said...

Cristina blogger is an ass. An ass that may or may not deserve forgiveness. The verdict is out -- and I'd log out, but have been unable to do so for TWO WEEKS.

Caitlin @ Candyfloss & Persie said...

how frustrating!!! I'm sorry, that's really annoying, especially because I'm sure there was a lot of hours and man power going into creating this deal for her. It sounded like she used you just as you thought and you are lucky you had 3 days to recover. Anyway, I love your cozy outfit, and that blanket is kinda the most beautiful thing ever, I wish I had been wrapped up in it!

Anonymous said...

Carrie, I love this how you can write poignant, thought provoking posts and then throw in one zinger line that makes me crack up. Well, I believe what goes around, comes around. If you treat others bad then you will pay the price. Karma, it's only a good thing when your good! xo

Judy C said...

Toxic people. That's what I call them. And usually I try to avoid them. But when you work in an office, that is hard to do. Sometimes it is much better to spend time alone wrapped in a beautiful blanket.

Anonymous said...

Amen. Unfortunately, I do the same thing. I think I genuinely give people the benefit of the doubt (and assume that they will be of all things, genuine). There is my first problem---assuming. You know what they say about assuming. : )

Anyways, I hope you are feeling better and refreshed on this tuesday morning. :)

Lisa Griffin said...

oh you poor thing! i am tired of asses as well and almost lost it on someone for that exact characteristic on friday- they are not getting away with it anymore!
www.indramaticfashion.com

erica said...

Oh my goodness you poor thing. I have given up on ever trying to get my friends job offers or anything of that sort. They seem to always mess it up. At least you had some cute clothes to sulk in.

xo

Val said...

Ugh, this breaks my heart!! As always you look amazing. Loving the ripped jeans. Lets hear it for John Hughes movies...they make everything better.

hip hip gin gin said...

Ugh. What a fiasco. I'm sorry (but at least you had sweet Blanket to comfort you). I'm done with asses and assy behavior as well. I declared to my family a few months back that I will be done putting up with BS, and since I always seem to forgive people and get right back into a situation that burns me I've given myself a baby steps deadline of my next birthday. So come September, watch out! Operation "get out of my face!" will be in full effect.

By the way this operation is going to be highly interesting since just a few weeks back, as a part of my baby steps program, I politely said no to something I didn't want to do. The person looked at me like I had five heads and waited for an explanation. And I just stood there chanting "no is a complete sentence, no is a complete sentence" in my head. I'm going to need heeeeeeelp.

Kristen said...

what an ass. sorry for your frustrations! you look so relaxed with blanket and kitty. i immediately want to be on that porch!! also - LOVING the ripped jeans. I want a pair....

Alyssa said...

:o(

Bonnie said...

I know how you feel. I wish I could curl up in a gorgeous blanket like this one and sit for a while. Sometimes, life just hits you with a giant bitch slap, and you have to take some time to regroup. This happened to me last weekend, so trust me -- I get it.

http://www.glamkittenslitterbox.com/
Twitter: @GlamKitten88

Anonymous said...

What Bonnie said. :(

Valerie said...

I'm so sorry, Carrie. People can be so disgusting sometimes. Thank goodness you had that blanket to comfort you and the long weekend to recover. And the Vietnamese food and waffle sandwiches sound fantastic. I wish we were neighbors, I would have been happy to come over and sit with you in comfy clothes while watching movies all weekend. I hope you're feeling better today. Maybe you deserve another day off from the treadmill for full recovery. ;)

xo
val

Peetzi Jen said...

Selfish people can be so exhausting! What happened to morals and ethics and a world where you think about others as much as you do yourself? I have come to a place in life where I no longer have any use for yahoos like this!

XOXO!!

Ashleigh said...

Awww, Carrie I'm sorry!! One of my most common phrases is 'I hate people' which sounds really mean & negative. I actually don't hate people, just the things they do & think they can get away with! That old 'fool me once shame on you, fool me twice...' can be a real b*tch! Hopefully Blanket & kitty cuddles improved the mood? xoxox

Marie a la Mode said...

Hey, what are you doing with my cat?! ha. Sorry to hear about this ungrateful person you spoke about. Some PEOPLE! Hopefully that gorgeous blanket wrapped around you made you feel a bit better..

A Crimson Kiss said...

Oh darling, I hate when you are forced to see just how crappy so many people can be. I'm not sure anything brings out people's teeth like job hunting, and I'm just so sorry that you had to be confronted with the sheer shittyness of this woman.

Thank goodness for a three day weekend.

xoxo, Lena

drollgirl said...

a) love the pics. b) i love your casual outfit! c) humanity can be so damn discouraging. d) i tend to drop friends when i discover they are just in it for themselves. it is gross just gross. and i sort of have a shortage of quality friends at this point, but i guess i'd rather have few good ones that a lot of jerkoffs. ya know.

Amber said...

well you certainly look comfy. As for your friend, I am not sure what to say. Some people will never learn. Its best avoid them at all costs but sometimes we (myself included) are too forgiving and give second chances to people who dont deserve them. Chin up!

FRANKIE HEARTS FASHION said...

wow...people are absolutely amazing sometimes. Sorry that you had to go through that. But you are right...thank god it was a 3 day weekend!! Cheers to a new drama free week. xoxo

My Heart Blogged said...

I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm not sure if you are comfortable talking about this but when something like that happens do you not get paid? If that is the case that person is a real piece of work, and deserves to have their new job blow up in their face. I'm trying to switch careers currently, and I can't even imagine having someone in my corner fighting for a great job to only turn it down.

Unknown said...

Sorry to hear that.
That is why I spend most of my time with my cats... call me crazy or unsocial....
People are complicated!

ps: i'm having a giveaway, hope you can check it out.

little luxury list said...

Sigh, it goes to show that we can be trusting, but not everyone will treat us with the respect that we may give them.
You'll always have blanket my dear, you'll always have blanket.

xoxo,
Chic 'n Cheap Living

Kelly-Ann Maddox said...

I know how you feel. Recently I've been moping a little after placing my trust with a fair weather friend who didn't deserve it. Even when we've grown weather beaten enough to be able to spot the users and the shallow types, there will still be times we'll let our better nature talk us around and we end up stung by someone who has dishonorable intentions.. *hug*

If it's any consolation, you look so cute in that poncho blanket thing.

stylenuggets said...

Hope the blanket and extra food worked for you 'coz I'm stealing your idea for the long weekend ahead! People can be so opportunistic but sadly they are also the survivors who will still be standing!

Leeann @ Join the Gossip said...

It's [sadly] so true...people are just plain rude and inconsiderate! I had a situation with a friend over the weekend and now I am pretty much done with him. Sometimes if they aren't a good person they aren't good enough to take up your time!

RosaLovesDC said...

I am so sorry lady, some people just take advantage of situations like this one and only think about themselves.
Hang in there, you are a great person.

amy said...

You are so precious.


x


www.amyflyingakite.com

Unknown said...

I totally understand what you're feeling right now...it's a good thing you've got that rad blanket to keep you comfortable!

Anonymous said...

great food, a blanket, some kitty lovin' and several cocktails are all you need to make the world right again. hope things get better!

Annie said...

Ugh. I'm sorry Carrie. That really sucks. I wish people wouldn't be like that. I hope you're feeling better today. xo

Ashley said...

Unfortunately way too many people are like that - users, climbers. You can't let them get to you, you just need to take solace in knowing that there are decent people out there - and you are one of them! I hope you feel better!

-Ashley
http://breakfastatsaks.blogspot.com

Sarah said...

Chin up, buttercup. People are constantly surprising me with their general terribleness. It can be trying.

I need to catch up on your blog. I feel like I've missed so much!

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