Rethinking the Big Nickel

Confession time: I'm a Tupac Shakur fan.

What can I say? It was the 90's.

I'm also an old school Janet Jackson fan and Poetic Justice is a movie I've easily watched at least 20 times. Not sure I should be admitting that, but I guess the secret's out.

Today I was in the kitchen happily whipping up a dairy-free frittata for lunch (Day 10 of the Whole30 and going strong) when suddenly I heard Janet's voice straight out of Poetic Justice:

'My grandmama used to say I was always looking for the big nickel.  Anything I did: ride a bike, go to school, do somebody's hair--she'd say 'Justice, you still looking for that big nickel?''

All afternoon I've thought about the big nickel.  

What's my big nickel? 

I'm definitely someone who's been looking for it since I was a kid, so maybe that's why the line from the movie has stuck with me all these years.  For a long time I think it meant success.  Although I could never quite completely define what success meant to me, I'm pretty sure money was involved.  These days the big nickel is freedom: freedom to try new things (studying US Civics for an upcoming exam), waking up to the cat staring me down and having the time to stare back for 20 minutes to see who breaks first, mid-week getaways when no one else is around, afternoon walks in the sun when most other people are at work, and waving the bird at the ice cream container in the freezer.

We'll see how long the last part lasts, but for now it's pretty good.

~James Perse-T, Current/Elliott-Shorts, Antik Batik-Belt as Necklace, Old Stud Handmade-Belt,

Made With Love, Vanessa Mooney, Motif 56, Vintage-Bracelets & Rings~

King Stare Down

Whole30-ified

Needs no explanation.

Needs a WHOLE LOTTA 'SPLAININ'!

There we were walking along one morning when I look up, squint, and blurt out 'Is that an iguana?

Holy mother that is an iguana.'

  I also may have dropped an eff bomb in there due to state of shock status, but can ya blame me? 

Anyway there was a lady walking her iguana on a leash. For real. She told me it was just like a cat. Poor thing didn't realize who she was talking to. Seriously though, she loves that thing and he is a part of her big nickel.  And he was actually very friendly although my big nickels would be having approximately zero part in that action. 

No thank you and good night.

Don't Just Stand There

What can I say? I'm having a moment. A phase? A thing.

I'm in a zone.

When I was younger and first beginning to collect memories I would find myself in a slew of warm times, cushioned in by friends and laughter or tragedy and sadness resulting in growth and a kind of inner strength that hadn't been there before, and get lulled into thinking life would always be that way.

When I first realized those were seasons I was in my first semester of university, something I had so looked forward to, and hating it.  There I sat in my car, heat blasting on my face and freezing cold toes as -30 weather tried to suck the life out of me, thinking about how boring things had become. Wasn't life on your own supposed to be more interesting than this? As I flipped through images in my mind it hit me 'If that happens again I need to soak it in for all it's worth'.

And thankfully more of those special times keep coming, but they still sneak up sometimes.

Last week we went to the desert for a few days. It was incredibly peaceful and quiet and warm with no set agenda. I was sitting there completely still when it donned on me: you're in one. Not because I was out of town, but because it was quiet enough to hear my life.

Sounds hokey, but it's true.

Is it possible to have a spiritual moment within your life? I'm not sure spiritual is the right word. Maybe a time of introspection or self-reflection where you tuck away inside yourself is a better way to describe it.  Whatever you want to call it, that's where I'm at and no I haven't been hitting the sauce. In fact I'm on a no alcohol thing for 30 days. Yeah, get there.

Lately my spare time has been walks at the beach instead of hours at the blog. Kicking off the Whole 30 and getting serious about maintaining my health. Reading a book instead of watching hours of reality tv. It may not last forever, but it's where I'm happiest right now.  And this lifestyle used to be the norm rather than a retreat. Can't say I'm happy about that but, then again, things don't just change themselves.

On a lighter note though?  I found myself, with few others around, face to face with Erin Wasson while out of town. If you follow me on Pinterest you know she is my absolute fave. Due to state of shock status all I managed to gather (aside from my mouth from the ground smh) was her hair getting into the passenger side of the car.  And yes her hair really is that good. And no I just could not bring myself to haul up into her personal space and interrupt her day. Even though I immediately regretted it after they drove away.

She is an absolute stunner, the definition of brains and beauty, and one of those rare people who looks even better in person.  Girl crush.

I'll probably never recover from not just jumping on her and hugging her. Think deer in headlights.

Eyes Forward, Keep Moving and Don't Stop

Bet you thought I'd flown the coop.  I mean it's been a couple days and no Bachelor recap?! Truth: I haven't even taken a full look at this week's episode.  Blasphemy.  I overheard bits and pieces from the kitchen where I was *ahem* slaving away over a birthday cake turned massive bowl of chocolate chip cookie dough for the Chef. It was his birthday, so the Bachelor is waiting on DVR.  I know that fool Ben decided to keep Courtney and I know Kacie B laid down on the floor in the hallway of a hotel in Switzerland. I'm certain there's much more where that came from, but don't tell me! I need to see that mess for myself and will report back when done.

In the meantime I've been having some pretty productive, but long work days that basically render me incoherent at the end of the day.  Due to this work-related mayhem all I've been able to do is sneak instagrams now and then.  Here are some recent faves from the past week or so.  I am a firm believer in incremental rewards to make the days go by faster.  Examine the evidence:

Initial Tree 

I'd need a forest (or at least an alphabet) for the bracelet collection. 

New fave t-shirt states the obvious.

Break time with the obvious.

FP delivery containing the best denim vest since 1991. 

NDC Boots snagged on Gilt about a month ago. 

Envisioning some sort of flare-legged pant specially formulated to not need hemming.

Flea market here I come! Seeking fringe bottom pants...

Until then I'll settle for a nap.