Transition Inspiration: Isabel Marant RTW Fall 2010

For the past 5 days in Southern California Mother Nature has graciously paid us back in full (and in record time) for the summer we were robbed of.  Two of my best friends were visiting and we had a great time taking in the warmth, but when they left this afternoon I have to say I kind of wished the hot weather would have departed as well.  Don't get me wrong - it's been great to wear summer clothes in appropriate temperatures, but now it's time to cut to present.  How can I possibly get excited to even talk about fall fashion much less take an outfit picture in July-like weather?  It doesn't feel like fall at all...I mean I've eaten ice cream for breakfast 3 days in a row!

The truth is we usually get a zap of heat in September/October that causes us to pause on the fall wardrobe.  It made me wonder today - what have I done in the past? So tonight I spent some time rooting around in the closets before turning to Isabel Marant's Ready-To-Wear Fall Line for inspiration.  Without fail, I fall in love with every piece of her collection season after season.  Her clothing speaks to my heart in all the right ways and knows just what I want before I can articulate it, her Fall 2010 collection being no exception.  It is absolutely perfect warm weather transition wear and I felt renewed vigor staring at the looks over and over again.  It's like Grease meets Parisian-chic...

See what I mean?  The rolled denim is perfect and the sparkly bomber adds

just the right unexpected touch.

Can someone please tell me where I can get red, cropped skinny denim?
And don't even get me started on the amazing jacket.

Never before have I so longed for electric blue sequined denim.

This is one I could replicate so quickly if I just had the pants!!

I won't even comment.  The outfit speaks volumes all on its own.

The most important thing I took away from watching this show (on repeat for an hour, I might add) is that even though I may not be able to afford all these separates - I can look in my closet and find similar shapes and silhouettes to create really great warm weather fall transition outfits.  Isabel Marant continues to be a designer I look to for inspiration because she doesn't follow rules - she follows what she likes.

You Can Ring My Bell (Bottoms)

When I think of bell bottoms my mind immediately fills with images of Farrah Fawcett in a form fitting track jacket a little more than half-zipped up and slightly high-waisted bell bottom denim with cute sneakers peeking out from beneath.  Suddenly a new image pops up with her in a blousy peasant top tucked into the waist of her bell bottoms - I can't see her shoes because the bells cover them perfectly but I sense they are wedges.  Then I'm blinded by her amazing feathered hair and bright contagious smile and I'm back in Charlie's Angels land...sigh.

But back to this post.

I'm a huge fan of bell bottoms - they take me back to my wee days when my way older and very fashionable teenage cousins were prancing around with the extreme bells and patchwork suede bags, while posters of the Bay City Rollers took up every square inch of their bedroom walls.  *I was "allowed" in those sacred places if I didn't touch too much or tell my mom anything I overheard, and they would paint my finger nails and give me their leftover junk to take home which was well-worth the rules!*  For months I have had been waiting to find just the right pair for me.  J Brand's Lovestory bell bottoms called out, but upon closer examination I didn't love the wide hem at bottom.  One day before wallet restriction set in I strolled into my neighborhood Gap and stumbled upon their Vintage Flare Jeans.  My trip to the fitting room was filled with jumping up and down and maybe a shriek or two because they are made from a super soft denim with just the right amount of stretch, have a normal hem at bottom and fit perfectly - snug in the leg to the knee and then moving into a nice bell landing just over my shoes at bottom allowing for the perfect bit of swish when I walk on by!

Despite the fact that it was 108 degrees at noon this past Sunday, we opted to go ahead with these outfit pictures.  Hence no necklace or bangles because they may have melted right onto my skin.  It was insanity!

I had fully intended to wear the jeans with my own track jacket

and sneakers, but 100+ temps = no dice.

Instead I opted for this peasant inspired linen tank. The print on

the top coupled with it's billowy flow gave it just the

right amount of boho-chic.

My cousin's patchwork suede hand-me-down bag is long gone.

aka massive loss.  (moment of silence please *sniff*)

Instead let's focus on how the denim fits snugly to the knee 

before flaring over the shoe.

Here's a close-up.  When I walk the denim maintains the perfect length

showing just a hint of, in this case, my cloxfords (previously seen here).

This gives another example of the leg of the denim which easily

rests just over the tip of the shoe in ultimate bell bottom perfection.

These jeans are not high-waisted, but still maintain the overall 

effect.  That being said, it would be great to find

a vintage pair that could showcase a high waist and a crazy belt 

with a flowy top tucked in.  Le dream!

How about you ladies?  Are you a fan of the bell bottom or are some things better left in the past?

Outfit details:  Free People - Linen Tank/Blouse, Gap - Denim, Steve Madden - Cloxfords, Foley + Corinna - handbag, Target - Sunnies, Green Ring - Nordstrom

DIY Hair Post - The Bun

Let me begin by saying I'm pretty nervous to do this post.  I've never done one before, I'm flattered that so many of you have asked for it, and I hope these directions display just how easy it is to pull off this twisty bun *that my niece calls "the pom-pom" - love her!!*

Please bear in mind that it was 105 degrees outside and 437 degrees in the Chef's bathroom when we took the pictures for this step-by-step on Sunday.  The temperature has currently dropped to 398 degrees on Monday evening and I have spent far too much time eating heavy quantities of orange popsicles after mowing down mad amounts of amazing sushi with two of my best friends who are visiting from out of town.  This summer in fall thing is something I could totally get used to.  I haven't thought of one single thing I neeeeeed for fall in at least 5 days and my wallet is in heaven!  Woo hoooo!!

This twisty bun is my go-to, I can't take anymore heat or fussing hairdo.  Following are the steps I take to make it happen:

I have fine hair, but a lot of it and it has a natural wave to it.

I enhance the wave by adding Bumble and Bumble styling creme and 

scrunching the hair as I lightly blow dry it so it has a bit more volume.

More volume will result in a bun that is more full.

Once the hair is dry I gather it on top of my head approximately

where I would want the bun to sit once it is complete.

During this stage I rake my fingers through the waves/curls in front and on

top of my head to get a bit of lift in front.

You probably couldn't tell, but I had a thick ponytail holder on my wrist 

that I flip over for easy access onto my hair.  

I begin by proceeding as if I'm going to put a high

ponytail atop my head.  

I have a lot of hair so I only have to wrap it twice around.  The goal is for it to be

a bit snug, but not too tight because you have to leave room 

for all your hair to rest inside it at the end.

Here is where you flip what would be a regular ponytail to the front, BUT

you don't pull it all the way through.  The hair has gone through the ponytail 

holder twice and is now being flipped to the front like so:

See how I've swiveled the remaining length of the hair to the front 

and am essentially reversing a ponytail that has not been pulled 

all the way through.  

Next you determine how full you want the bun to be by how much hair

you have or want to pull through.  

I like a poofy bun, but I also have a lot of hair. 

See how there's a degree of fullness to the bun itself, 

and the ends of my hair are resting

in front atop my head.  

Here's another shot that's straight on so you can get a 

better sense of the volume in the bun and ends left over.

Next I take the ends and basically divide them in half, wrapping

them around to the back at the base of the bun like so:

Sometimes I have shorter lengths that I let rest like a little nest in front.

I'm a fan of the messy, poofy bun because it's very carefree

and I don't have to worry about any hairs escaping and looking a mess 

throughout the day.

Finally, if I'm able to, I tuck some of the ends up into the bun -

especially if it's come loose - and then secure the long ends with 

bobby pins in the back toward the base of my neck, but leaving

some loose curly pieces hanging in the back.

Because there was a heat wave outside and in the bathroom we completely 

forgot to get a front picture of the finished result for a finale shot.  Oops!!

You can however see it a little here in yesterday's post because this

is the hair I wore out a short time after we took the pictures.

Or here is another classic example of how it turns out:

Sorry this isn't a closer picture, but you get the basic idea.

You can also see closer versions of the bun here, here, here and here.  I hope this DIY portrays how quick this hair can be.  Often I roll out of bed after a nap or the next morning, toss it up like so and go.  It is my hair saving solution!!

Happy Tuesday everyone.  Hope we don't melt today in SoCal!  It was 113 degrees in LA and 111 at my place near the beach yesterday.  Crazy!

Happiness is....

A heat wave in late September?  Well, since we basically froze this summer in California I would have to say YES!  Last Thursday when the local weather guy said there was "warm weather right around the corner for the weekend" I gave the tv the ol' eye roll and kept on walking.  "Suuuuure there is Dallas Raines," I said right out loud in my own home (where no one else was at the time except two cats who "pretend" not to know what I'm saying half the time - except when food is involved, of course).  Never in a million did I think I'd wake up on Friday morning to the scent of warm summer air - it's a real smell you know! - and temperatures already at 75 degrees when I stepped outside at 10:30am.  Cut to Saturday when we were full blazing hot at 8am and it became apparent that Dallas had struck weatherman gold aka his predictions were spot on.

Suffice it to say happiness is also the cool comfort of a movie theater after you've relived several summer dreams you thought you had been robbed of (read:  strolling in the warm air wearing a tank top, skirt and sandals at 10pm, visiting a few of your most fave brunch places to lounge leisurely in the warm air over early afternoon brunch, and tending to your fruit and vegetable garden in the warmth of the day). Saturday and Sunday saw us in LA with temperatures over 100 degrees both days.  After puttering around doing warm weather things all day we took the ultimate lazy day summer retreat to escape the heat at the movies where we saw Never Let Me Go (starring Carey Mulligan, Keira Knightley) on Saturday and The Town (starring Ben Affleck, Rebecca Hall and Jon Hamm) on Sunday night.  Both of these movies, in my opinion, were excellent.  If you haven't seen The Town yet I will only say that Ben Affleck must have taken some acting lessons because he did a great job.  I'm a huge fan of Carey Mulligan and she was brilliant in Never Let Me Go...it ended up being nothing like I expected. If you enjoy movies that make you stop and think then you will likely enjoy its themes - they will definitely be playing over and over in my mind for weeks to come.  Has anyone read the novel it's based on by Kazuo Ishiguro?  I'd be interested to get your take...

 this is the look of sheer "summer didn't abandon us after all" elation

I can't tell you how wonderful it was to be greeted by warm gentle breezes leaving the theatre.  We seized the moment to zip across the street to our favorite watering hole just to visit the bartender and sip on the best cold cocktails in town. I noticed so many people wearing cute summer outfits, sandals, up-do's...everything I saw very little of in June, July and August.  Even though we were all scorching I noticed no one looked unhappy, and for a moment we were all on the same happy team.  Now when does that happen in LA? hehe

Oh!  And happiness is also guest posting for another blogger!!  Jess at Cheap But Chic was so kind to invite me to her blog today.  I mentioned the post last week and it should be up around 6am EST - it is a side by side comparison review complete with pictures of Tucker by Target's signature blouse with one from the brand's regular line.  If you've been holding off making a purchase from either line this post might help you out.  Please stop by and take a look!!

Hope you had a great weekend!  Was the weather crazy warm in your parts of the country/world?

Gluten-Free Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins

Anyone who lives a gluten-free life or has a loved one faced with living this lifestyle knows how difficult it can be to find authentically delicious baked goods.  Bread aside, imagine living without home-baked cookies, birthday cakes, brownies or dessert bars?  It can be really tough.  When I was first diagnosed 4 or 5 years ago (it's all a blur) I will never forget hearing my doctor say, "If you have to have a disease, Celiac is the one you want.  All you have to do is eliminate gluten and you will be 100% healthy."  The first word that came to my mind was glucose aka sugar aka chocolate - to which I then replied in a very weak, soft voice, "So can I still have chocolate?"   

Later when it was explained to me that eliminating gluten meant all wheat and grains (not chocolate - whew!!) - the reality hit like a ton of bricks.  I come from a long line of bakers.  My family is eastern European and very traditional - we bake.  We eat dough.  We love it.  And now I could have none of it.  For 2 years I lived without any home-baked goods.  Even though there were cookbooks, none of them looked very enticing and all of the flour combinations seemed so overwhelming and, frankly, depressing.  One day something in me snapped and I decided I would have a chocolate chip cookie again dammit!!  And thus began the experiment and hunt for the right flour concoction.  I shared this one once before here - just scroll down and there it will be.  I make a large batch and substitute it cup for cup with regular flour.  It makes wonderful home made treats that are just like the regular stuff.  Everyone else living the non-gf life can use this recipe with regular flour for some of the best Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins you will ever have!!

Gluten-Free Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins
Ingredients
4 eggs
2 cups sugar (I use evaporated cane sugar)
1 (16 ounce) can pumpkin
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/4 cups grapeseed oil (you can use vegetable if you'd like)
3 cups gluten-free (or regular) flour 
2 teaspoons baking soda
2 teaspoons baking powder
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1 teaspoon salt
1 12 oz bag of semi-sweet (or dark or milk) mini chocolate chips

1. In large mixing bowl beat eggs, sugar, pumpkin, vanilla and oil until smooth. 
2. Mix dry ingredients together.  Sift together completely if you are using the gluten-free blend.
3. Whisk dry ingredients into wet ingredients - especially if you are gluten-free whisk and don't beat with traditional beaters.  Gluten-free flour is very sensitive so you don't want to over whisk - just until the mixture is smooth.  Then fold in chocolate chips.

     4.  Fill greased or paper-lined muffin tins about 3/4 full. 

     5.  Bake at 400F for approximately  16-17 minutes. 

 This recipe yields about 30 wonderful muffins.

See, they even look like the real deal...and I promise they taste just as good.

This was a fave recipe from my former gluten-filled life!

If you happen to stroll by my house this weekend and look in the window, you'll know it's me if you see this:

You can be 100% certain if you hear two cats hissing and screeching from inside the screen door at a very nice black and white friendly cat that will be perched outside just trying to be friends with them.  I'm living with two hooligans who refuse to make nice with the neighbors!

Have a great weekend everyone!!

Leather and Leopard

There are many reasons I have long been referred to as a "free bird" by the people who know me best.  In a nutshell I'm basically a non-conformist (aka all over the place) - especially in the apparel area. What's the term?  Eclectic.  Yes, that's it.  One minute (or hour) I can be looking over a J.Crew catalogue sighing over everything I neeeeeeeed, then two minutes later you'll find me eyes glazed over contemplating the lack of boho chic in my life a la Free People (and don't even get me started on my evening "reading" of the Shopbop website.  eyeglasses anyone?) .  Olivia Palermo is one of my best girlfriends when it comes to style mentors - and Jackie O has been an icon of mine for as long as I can remember - but then I'll enter my closet and come out happy as a lark in a pair of harem pants tucked into knee high military boots with a beat-up chunky sweater coat thrown over circa my early 90's grunge phase.  Are you like this, too?  Do you stick to any one style or find yourself moving fluidly between several?

Yesterday's Tucker post made my heart sing because it was so unexpectedly, off-the-wall perfect.  When I was in Canada I wore this and honestly cannot wait to wear it again.  It is probably my favorite blog outfit post to date, however this one ranks right up there as well.  And yet all 3 are distinctly different.  I say all this to say...enter the opposite end of the spectrum.  I'm going to throw myself out there and say there's little chance of us spotting Olivia Palermo in yesterday's outfit, but today's?  Oh yes - it is Olivia P all the way.

 Nothing like yesterday, but still totally my style.

A little closer so you can see the detail on the top and the shorts...

From the side.

And of course the shoes.  Oh the leopard shoes.

Outfit details:  Martin+Osa (RIP I'll never recover) - Cashmere Cardigan, J.Crew - Rosette Tank (last winter?), Aritzia - Faux Leather Shorts, J.Crew - Leopard Mary Jane, Melinda Maria - Jewelry, Tom Ford - Sunnies

With the exception of the shorts each of these items has lived in my closet for at least a year, and I'm really proud of that.  One of my current goals is to work my closet as much as possible and enjoy what I already have.  As for the shorts - one of my "must" stops when I go home is Aritzia.  I have scored some major finds in their stores - they carry everything from top contemporary brands to their own private label items and I was determined to lay hands on a pair of their faux leather shorts for fall...of course I arrived in Canada to discover they were entirely sold out nationwide.  The Manager of their downtown Calgary store was so kind and tracked down the last pair in the company (I was so excited and grateful!!  and they said they should restock in October) in - wait for it - NEW JERSEY.  I went all the way home to find my dream shorts on the other side of the country I just came from.  Gotta love kismet!!  Somethings are just meant to be.  I'm sure Olivia would agree.

Mixing It Up: Tucker for Target Part 3

The morning that Tucker for Target was released was a bit of a nightmare (see here).  After finally finding availability at one store I opted to purchase several things knowing that only a few would stay with me and the rest be returned.  It's amazing how items can come together when they're hanging in the closet or splayed across my bed - far from the glaring fluorescent lights and pressure of making a purchase in the store.  Pieces I might not otherwise think of wearing together suddenly come to life and form the best outfits.  When I saw Gaby (Tucker's mastermind) at an event in Laguna Beach and later in LA the thing that struck me about her is how carefree and laid back she is - she mixes prints and patterns with ease - wearing different ones on top and bottom.  The Chef thought it was a little out there; I prefer the term "eclectic"...and very much free bird style.

On Sunday I threw this outfit on and giggled out loud when I turned to look in the mirror.  It had been forming in my mind since I first caught a preview of the line and turned out to be pure magique!  Don't you love when that happens?  I was feeling pretty good about myself until I noticed that the ad campaign totally put the same two pieces together - oh well, at least I can say I'm catching Gaby's flavor!!  For some reason I totally felt like Mrs. Roper (my hero!) when I was out and about in the outfit...anyone else catching that vibe?

 It all began with this descent.

 And the next thing you knew I was standing in a bunch of thistles.  

 The cami dress lying perfectly beneath the signature mid-length

...while I tried to get visions of rodents nests in the grass out of my mind.

The outfit is so insane - I'm in love with it!!

Two of my friends are missionaries to Africa.

 The bracelet and the necklace were gifts from them -

and were handcrafted in Uganda.

They're absolutely splendid and unique in design.

The tights and shoes are what really take this outfit to a whole other level.

(that and my disheveled nest of hair and all the thorns stuck in my flesh through the tights)

 Check the dress from the back - totally flowy and perfect for a fall day.

Well, almost fall on that day.

The next thing you knew it was time to tiptoe back through the weeds

and pray to God there weren't any snakes or mice out there. Ugh!!

(not to be mistaken for UGG! by Jimmy Choo sorry I couldn't resist)

Also doubles as a superhero outfit.  Ideal for scaling walls...even dirt ones.

Item details:  Tucker for Target - Camisole Dress in Halo, Tucker for Target - Signature Dress in Floral Print, Steve Madden - Empiire Cloxford, Anthropologie - Tights

Do you feel tense when you take outfit pictures?  I totally do!! Do you find the more unexpected or glam an outfit is, the less stress you feel?  I'd love to hear your thoughts.  And stay tuned for a guest post within the week over at Jess's blog Cheap But Chic where I'll be doing an item comparison of my regular Tucker blouse with one from the Tucker by Target line.  I'll let you know once it's up - if you've been holding off purchasing a blouse that post might help you make your decision.

Someone Call 911 We've Got a Shoe Down

Anyone following me on twitter knows I am a huge fan of Nancy Grace (and Dateline and 20/20 as evidenced here and here but that's another story).  Very seldom does a day go by when I am not found, at 4:58pm, skidding across the livingroom to get the perfect spot on the couch just in time to hear Nancy scream out, "THIS JUST IN...".  She advocates for missing persons, victims and victims families more than anyone else out there.  (Speaking of which did you catch last week when she dropped the bomb that Beth Holloway Twitty snuck into Castro Castro in Peru to go face-to-face with Joran Van der Sloot and let him know she won't rest until she finds out what he did with Natalee's body?!?!?!  And did you hear when Nancy divulged the news that sicko VdS  has been getting conjugal visits from random women and having big ol' parties while in there too?!?!?  I was so ENRAGED I took to the phone lines to see if I could get through to Nancy and have her send me on location with Jean Casarez.  At least send me out to speak with Beth Holloway Twitty, Nancy!! I think I missed my calling.  How I would love to be a reporter!  Beth are you out there?? We need to talk - no more prison visits where you could be killed lady!!  One day you will testify against urine Joran...).

Anyway.  I digress.

But speaking of victims...BOMBSHELL TONIGHT!  A crime has been committed in shoeville and Inspector Shoeseau (aka me) is on the case bringing you all the latest.

UGG For Jimmy Choo (or is that UGH?)

From now on I think I will just refer to it as "That Ain't Right"

Here we have the Mandah.  Only $795. (yeah. get there)

 What was that?  A little pricey for you?

How about the Starlit?  Only $595.

You prefer something a little taller?

(please tell me you've been drinking for 3 days straight and don't realize this is a bedazzled Ugg)

How about the Sora?  Comes in chocolate and black too.

Oh yeah before I forget $695.

Trying to get your animal print on for fall?

Here's the Kaia in Zebra.  Also a mere $595.

I'm sorry but this collaboration is an atrocity.  I don't care if Nikki Hilton is wearing it (did Paris slip her some coke?? sorry I couldn't resist).  Actually I don't care if the QUEEN herself is endorsing it, the whole thing is just wrong.  

Now don't get me wrong.  I love an UGG.  Roll your eyes or whatever, but it's the beach and it's Southern California - we UGG.  I'm even guilty of UGG's and shorts.  Shoot me.  I can deal with it.  I used to be the biggest UGG hater of them all.  Until I found myself lying face down on the sidewalk outside of church one morning after getting scared to death by a barking rabid dog - that I thought was going to get out of its fence when it was only the neighbor's gate that was opening after all - having severely twisted my ankle on a jagged piece of sidewalk while looking terrified for the dog instead of keeping an eye on where I was going (think MAN DOWN! I actually screamed and gagged all at once as I flailed to the ground).  Guess what?  The only thing my foot could fit into was an UGG or a flipflop.  In November.  And so a hypocrite died convert was born.

However UGG + Bedazzler = disaster.  Throw in some fringe and it's a disaster duo.  Or is that trio?  I'm so baffled!!  Undoubtedly we will see the Hollywood wallets strolling in their jeweled UGG's (that will be "gifted"), but I will not be swayed.  Not even when they're marked down to $34.99 will I be donning a pair of these.  However if you stare at them long enough you actually start to consider it.  Step away from the Mandah.  Or I'll call Nancy Grace to unleash the lawyers!!  She is all about preventing crime before it occurs!!

Practicing the Fine Art of Doing Nothing

Let me tell you - doing nothing is not getting enough attention.  It seems to me that everywhere I turn it's go, go, go - and the next thing you  know I'm going, going, gone.  In the past year or so I seem to have been swept away in a flow of activity that hasn't added a single thing to my life.  By the time I do find a second to do something I'd like *read:  Friday night on the town* all that happens is me passed out in bed fully clothed by 8pm.  I mean seriously, I can't even stay awake during a movie anymore and that is not okay.  This state of chaos is something that's been bothering me a lot lately.  I get that a person has to work and be productive and contribute - really I get that.  However it appears that's not enough anymore and I'm getting pulled in 14 directions by people who are just trying to suck as much out of me as they can get for themselves without any thought of how their behavior might be affecting me.  Wait.  Did you hear that screeeeeeeech? 

That was me putting on the brakes.  Because this is stopping now.

By the time this past Friday hit I was so exhausted I actually felt nauseous - and lemme tell ya it was not fun.  Just before noon I shut my telephone off, was finished work by 2:58pm and bawling my head off by 3:15pm watching Oprah fulfill a gaggle of Wildest Dreams (still not sure how she managed to steal my life?!?).  Next thing I knew my eyes opened and it was after 7pm, the Chef was in the kitchen and Chance Chancellor (Y&R people - get there!!) wasn't dead after all.  Miracles always happen on Fridays in Soap Opera land!!  How do I get there?? 

You know doing nothing really is an art form to be perfected.  It means making zero plans, potentially lying around in a vegetative state with or without television, in clean or not so clean clothes, eating out of a chip bag all day or maybe making a slough of food - doing nothing means whatever you want it to.  And so it was.  An entire weekend of nothing.  Now if it could just last for 3 more consecutive days I might actually be nearing the stage of "rested". 

Here's just a little of what doing nothing consisted of for me this weekend.

Mid-morning strolls for tea.  My weekend dream state - lounging over tea.

 Discovering a pizza joint in my neighborhood had gluten-free beer on the menu.

And pizza.  That's it in the upper right corner.  

Saturdays filled with aimless wandering = bliss.

I tried to choose some candy, but it started to resemble work

so I had to snap out of it and get back to nothing.

Catching an amazing sunset at the beach with zero distractions = the height of doing nothing.

Of course this doesn't rank too far behind it. 

I really need to follow my cat's lead.  He clearly has nothing down to a science.

Technically the weekend's not over so I have to get back to practice, but before I jet - what were you up to?  How do you set boundaries to ensure your sanity/state of mind is not infringed upon?  If you are just getting started - I strongly suggest a period of doing nothing to detox and calm your weary mind.  It does wonders!