Bird on the Ledge

I never considered myself much of a daredevil.

Nope.  Growing up I listened to the teacher, always completed my homework without being asked to do so, was home by curfew (except once or twice), and stayed in the crosswalk.  To this day I am still too nervous to jaywalk for fear of a police officer catching me and administering a verbal rip in front of a bunch of nosy onlookers.

Confessions of a self-professed hallway monitor turned free bird (in the latter years).

So a couple weeks ago when we were on our way home from the blessed flea market aka home of the Tori Spelling sighting and the Chef pulled into a parking lot with a sign that basically said if you're not the owner and don't have permission you'd best frig off, I contemplated having a breakdown.

Him:  Just get out. We'll get a few pictures and leave.
Me:  What if someone calls the police?
Him: By the time the police got here we'd be gone and the police do not care about us. *eye roll*
Me: What if the owner's here and yells at us? (as he walks across the parking lot and I holler out the window)
Him: Dude. It's Sunday. The owner is not here.
Me: That guy over there is waving to us. Maybe he's the owner.
Him: That guy over there is saying get out of the car and don't be a wuss. So don't be a wuss.

Fine. Rule breaker in the house. Nerd version 2012.

Happy to report no one called the po-po on us and I was back in the car within 5 minutes.  Word.

Mild look of panic as waving guy continues waving.  

Maybe it is the owner? (gulp)

Composure close-up minus feet?

Feet adorned in fave go-to Joie Booties tracked down at 50% off, last pair in the US at Saks.

Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever give up.

Unless you've jaywalked and are in the wrong.  

Then just take a verbal lashing and apologize quietly at the end.

Mop needs a cut. 

Outfit: Old Navy-Sweater, AE-Belt, Current/Elliott-Jeans, Joie-Booties, Anthro-Sunnies

Nothing new here.  Basically just more fave basics.

Here's hoping the weekend is kind to you. I've been in the hole this week with some sort of stomach bug and a sh*tload of work.  Not the best combo, but I'm still alive so no complaints here.  After all I'm not caught like a deer in the headlights outside the crosswalk or facedown on the pavement in cuffs. Perspective people, perspective.

Girl on the Go: Part Deux

*If blogger calves out on me this time prepare for mass exodus from the blog world:  party of Carrie.*

Despite having only one tiny project left on my desk, I still seem to have more things to do in a day than time allows for.  How is this possible? (ahem, naps) Yesterday morning the Chef and I were going over some odds and ends when suddenly we looked at the clock and realized we had somewhere to be in under an hour.  Two words:  not pretty.  As much as I like to comb my hair and think over an outfit, apparently those days are over. Thankfully during closet purge 2011--which may in fact take all of 2011 at the rate I'm going--I came across a couple of my favorite summer staples:  J.Crew sunwashed skirts from what? 5 years ago?  I stocked up on those mothers and basically live in them during the warmer months.  It's not always cute outfit time here at the bird, people.  This is life in motion.

Here's a peek into an average day these days:

Woman has 10 minutes to get ready.  

Slaps on go-to skirt, tank & scans 14 denim jackets while hanging off 

side of bed to look in full length mirror.

 Boyfriend tries not to lose it.

Making a final selection while bf waits outside woman emerges with keys in hand

muttering in annoyed tone, "damn deck, yes you have your keys, needs a cocktail, windy again".

*note to self: stop furrowing brow*

Seizing the day, woman notes bf on side of deck that has been destroyed by derelict no-show

painters (thanks again landlord) and begs him to take a look "at that bloody mess...can you imagine??"

aka can you pleeeeeeeease help me someday *hint hint*?

Exhibit A + a side of exasperated look on woman's face.

No time to dilly dally boyfriend uses his skills to rush woman off the deck.  

This is the look of :  are you trying to avoid helping me?  

You know I know what you're trying to do now don't you??

O-kay fine we can figure it out later. * huge sigh*

Racing down stairs woman says in smug tone, 'If you're in such a hurry why am I in front of you?'

Boyfriend laughs maniacally spotting tear in girlfriend's denim jacket.

What-ever I already knew that. 

Somewhere in Canada girl's mother screams at daughter stepping on backs of sneakers.

Total no-no back in the day.  So liberating to be an adult.  Love you Mom!

Looking up woman sees neighbors are still parking parallel to the garage.  

Wait a second they got married...and the wife wrote this on the side of his vehicle?

Newsflash:  no one wants an ill-mannered guy that can't park.  He's all yours.

*shakes head*

My arm's going numb.  I'm not sure if it's from the carpal tunnel or seeing this nonsense.  Either way I returned late in the afternoon and proceeded to lie on the couch watching Casey Anthony trial coverage for hours before drifting off to nap land.  I could get used to doing nothing...if only it wasn't for the bills. Maybe Nancy Grace needs an assistant.  Dream!!

Ow Ow Ow Ow Red Pants Ow Ow Ow

To be clear I'm ow'ing over my freaking carpal tunnel'd right wrist.  It's gotten so bad that at one point today my hand and arm were numb from fingertips to part way up my shoulder.  I'm trying not to whine, but I don't think I'm being very successful.  Sigh


It hurrrrrrts like a biznatch.

That being said I have to cut this mother short so I can work today which, coincidentally, involves mad amounts of typing at times.  How can this thing heal without downtime? Can cats be trained to type?  I wonder if they require a salary and/or mandatory breaks under CA state law?  Things to ponder while my brain continues trying to regenerate after last night's bachelorette.  When I got up this morning I was so disoriented I couldn't remember what day it was.  No jokes.  Good thing my brother called during which time my 18 month old nephew sang a few words from Justin Bieber's 'Baby'.  To be exact he sang out 'Baby, baby, baby woooo'.  I almost passed out laughing.

Enough rambling.  Let's cut to the pants.  I've had these things sitting in a bag by my desk for a month during which time I've toyed with cutting them to wear cropped and frayed, or just hemming in general.  The thought of returning them has crossed my mind more than once too...I mean how much will I really wear red pants?  On Sunday I bit the bullet and threw them on for a Father's day dinner with friends.  It's official:  they're keepers (the pants and my friends).

~Pants-J Brand Skinny Twill, James Perse-Tank, J.Crew-Heels (3 years ago?), 

Brandy & Melville-Fringe Bag, Anthro-Sunnies~

~PANYC-Studded Wrap, American Eagle-Friendship, Motif 56-Braided Bracelets
Melinda Maria-Link Oxidized Ring, Free People-Necklace (5 years ago?)~
Admission:  I stepped foot in AE on Friday night and went nuts in the bracelets.  Buy one/get one free.
I have nothing to say for myself.  I swore I'd never give them money again after
they ripped 1000's of hearts out by closing Martin+Osa.  The price tag made me do it?
Shameless

Once I put the pants on I remembered every reason I drove into the middle of nowheresville
late one Friday night on freeways I'd never even heard of before just to get the last pair.
In the fitting room I jumped up and down with glee.  I have no problem admitting that.

Should I cut them off?
And yes I realize these pictures are redundant, but the other one reallllly
showed the belt I got for $9 at the flea market and later spotted for $140.  
I'm so glad I'm newborn cheapskate--I'd have missed out on so many good things!!

This is the 'oh yes we do have enough pictures I'm done' look.
Nothing's worse than having a couple of cars circle the block repeatedly to stare.
Awkward

Okay is anyone else having issues with blogger inserting extra spaces between paragraphs?  I just don't understand how to make it stop.  Anyone?  Anyone??

Marching Into Fall in Military Jackets

So you know my J.Crew Military Jacket?  I'm thinking you do, even if you just started following yesterday,  because it was in the outfit post.  I also wore it here and here.  And because I get so many compliments on the jacket - both here and when I'm out and about (it's so easy to throw on that it goes on errands very often thrown over even sweats) - I wanted to do some investigation and provide alternatives.  You see my jacket is from late last summer right around this time, and it is no longer available *insert sad face here*.  As far as military jackets go it was not terribly priced at, I believe, $98 (even though I know that seems a bit steep) because I have worn the thing well over 98 times.  In fact, I bet I've worn it 98 times in a month.

Anyway that's like salt in the wound, so my bad.

In an effort to ease your pain and help out with military jacket madness as we head into cooler weather (which some of us poor biznatches have not escaped much this summer holler if you hear me fellow Californians!) please find some options - in various price ranges - listed below.

 dear polyvore:  stop trying to push me over the edge.  from, carrie.

Let's do a Top Row/Bottom Row Price Comparison (Left to Right)
First 2 Jackets:  Top Row:  Elizabeth and James - Shrunken Surplus Jacket - $395
                                 Bottom Row:  Rag & Bone - Leigh Jacket - $475

Second 2 Jackets:  Top Row:  Juicy Couture - Skylar Twill Military Jacket - $298
                           Bottom Row:  Target - Xhilaration Juniors Military Jacket - $24.99

Third 2 Jackets:  Top Row:  Delia's - Ricki Military Jacket - $49.50
                               Bottom Row - American Eagle - AE Military Shirt Jacket - $49.50 

So basically here's my summary.  The first two jackets on the left are staples.  They are fabulous and you will keep them long after the trend is gone because they are not so trendy that you can't pull them out for seasons to come.  The second set....well color me happy on that cost comparison!  Oh yeah!  Put on your helmet in case you're getting lightheaded because this, girls, is what we call a STEAL OF A DEAL here at this free bird!!  The Juicy jacket will likely be more well-constructed and it will be cute, but it's pretty trendy.  If you can get your hands on the Xhilaration one, why not give it a try and see what's what??  For the amount it'll get worn you really can't go wrong.  And, finally, regarding the third set - those two would be the closest to the one I get compliments on.  The AE one in particular and it pains me to even admit that.  I guess the brain waves over at AE (she says dripping with sarcasm) must have saved a Martin+Osa designer to come up with the last jacket.  It is beautiful and wonderful and affordable and I'm considering it myself even though I swore I would never financially support that organization after they cut my right arm off just a couple weeks ago. Martin+Osa has been one of my best friends for the past 3 years...I digress.

I hope this helps in your journey for the perfect military jacket for fall.  I am convinced that polyvore lives to torture me or I would have included other options that give you a military flavor with a bit of sass and perhaps other color options like this beautiful jacket from Free People that has a feminine flair to it, this workshirt from J.Crew in the softest pink/taupe color, and this jersey jacket from Marc by Marc Jacobs.

Let me know your thoughts ladies.  I think most of us can agree we love the military jacket.  Perhaps your new friend is amongst one of these!